25 Comments
User's avatar
Ute Heggen's avatar

Wow. All I can say is that he threatened me once. I didn't save, so only can say what I recall. He threatened trans widows.

Expand full comment
Louise R's avatar

Hoo-Eee. And they gave mind and body altering hormones/drugs to this guy? And surgery?

BTW Ex, your headdress makes you look like a Vermeer painting. Very becomming.

Expand full comment
Erin King's avatar

I thought the same! Girl with a Pearl Earring!

Expand full comment
Deadladyofclowntown's avatar

That's the one! Glorious.

Expand full comment
Deadladyofclowntown's avatar

I just posted before looking farther down the comments! But yes, Vermeer, what an incredible look!

Expand full comment
Erin King's avatar

I was listening today to a British doctor, Dr. Az Hakeem (I'm sure not a new name to many of you, but he is to me), and he said something that in hindsight seems obvious, but isn't, of course, because I'm not a man. He said that when an AGP surgically transitions, they're very likely to regret it, and immediately, because their balls/testosterone drive their sexual desire to imagine themselves as a woman. Then they cut off the source of that drive to achieve the vision and are no longer turned on by it. It's a bit like when a man is turned on in the moment by something that he's ashamed of, and after he orgasms, he's like confused about where it came from and it disgusts him.

It is wildly unfair for a veteran to be hung out to dry like this, care-wise. How in the world could "affirmation" and surgery, instead of some fking real mental health care to address his trauma, have been the preferred path, the most compassionate & scientifically helpful path chosen? ...just the most lucrative one, I guess, even among the VA, and that's really something consider, isn't it?

Expand full comment
Exulansic's avatar

Yea not only did our tax dollars apparently pay to mutilate this mentally disabled person, they're keeping it a goddamn secret that he died from it.

Expand full comment
Erin King's avatar

Our tax dollars certainly paid to injure/traumatize him to begin with. What an awful & nightmarish situation all the way around.

Expand full comment
paper clip's avatar

yes. it is a huge scandal, imho. in a way this has always been true, going back to the Iliad, going back to the mercantile wars of 400 years ago. young men are manipulated by their leaders, damaged and used up, and then come home and the government wants to sweep them under the rug in one way or another.

Expand full comment
Louise R's avatar

Viet Nam comes to mind. My brother didn't last a year after he came home.

Expand full comment
paper clip's avatar

yes. exactly. i'm terribly sorry. terribly.

Expand full comment
Louise R's avatar

Thanks. It's been over 50 years but still his loss is felt.

Expand full comment
paper clip's avatar

it is not "lucrative" "even among the VA." the VA is a nonprofit system---still, so far---and at its best--at the best VA hospitals, which I've seen--it provides good to excellent care. there are fine features that every system could benefit from---doctors on salary, not motivated to do procedures to make more money. integrated central medical files. in my experience, compassionate and respectful care for the very old, physically fragile. young residents motivated to learn and socialized within this medical culture to treat the old and the young disabled with respect.

however, we know from news reports that veterans of recent wars aren't getting quality treatment for PtSD and likely TBI. self-harm behavior after combat is common. psych care is always shorted in all systems because it's lengthy, time-consuming, and apparently psychiatrists and psychologists aren't being trained in sufficient numbers. meds are emphasized rather than careful psychotherapy and up to date neurological eval, as Exulansic mentions.

and most veterans don't really know what they need. many pts with psych disorders and neurodivergence don't.

Expand full comment
Gelatin's avatar

12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

I just shared that to say

It’s sad people are killing themselves.. because now they realize the severity of the decision and even still if someone went through that and lived there is a purpose for their life here even if it’s to tell everyone to RUN

Trouble doesn’t last always friends

And I just wanna say EX you’re really strong to be able to go through what you went through, stand on a public platform and endure hatred for your literal testament to what this medical industry will capitalize off of at the expense of the mental health issues of traumatized people’s and also while in the LGBTQ community… you have a special kind of endurance and I appreciate you for that. Post on sis

*Off my soapbox*

Expand full comment
Kristine Roser's avatar

Yes, trouble doesn't last forever. It only feels that it does to depressed people. And yes to all you've said about Exulansic. Her fearlessness and courage give us this opportunity to learn the truth of these miseries from a proper perspective.

Expand full comment
trudie63's avatar

Tos man needed institutional care LONG TERM, but yet again was lied to and let down by the "CARING PROFESSION." Trans "doctors" should be investigated, and a lot of them jailed. A lot of suicides recently of trans people who realise what they have done to themselves

Expand full comment
Louise R's avatar

I'm waiting for the suicidal post-ops to start taking the "doctors" with them.

Expand full comment
Evangeline's avatar

Your cat is gorgeous!

Now for the sad part:

The fact that we have a dead names series is incredibly depressing.

Expand full comment
Kristine Roser's avatar

Rupert is a star!

Expand full comment
Deadladyofclowntown's avatar

Another sad and very crazy one. But, Ex -- how beautiful you look! Like that old painting by I think Vermeer...

Expand full comment
Louise R's avatar

Check out the 2003 movie "Girl with the Pearl Earring" starring Colin Firth, Scarlett Johansen and Tom Wilkinson. It's lovely.

Expand full comment
Deadladyofclowntown's avatar

Have not heard of this, I'll definitely check it out!

Expand full comment
Kristine Roser's avatar

Thank God for Rupert's timely intervention on this one. He sat so gravely listening to his human mommy, looking tenderly up at her at intervals, eyes squinting with contentment. You had powerful words today, Exulansic. "One concussion away from hurtful or inappropriate behavior we can't seem to stop". I watched the Boyce interview with James Shupe a short while ago; Mr. Shupe seemed yes, as you said, fragile, and also distressed. While not particularly liking him (nor disliking him), his words and manner touched me. I thought at the time I would like to hear more from him, in order to understand his experience. The report of his suicide reawakened a guilty feeling I had from having said some mean things to another autogynephile, Phil Illy. I'm a little sorry for it, but it couldn't be helped. After a podcast by Benjamin Boyce, Illy and a nice sensible man from the U.K. named Rudy, I accused Phil of (if I remember correctly) offering flaccid arguments, giving facile responses and being disingenuous. Also for of having a big ole boner under his skirt as he penetrated the halls of the Genspect conference. I suggested that his desire was to be the queen of the Prom. I dared him to dress like that at a serious all-men's conference, and get his ass kicked. He had admitted to being aroused by the wearing of women's clothing, yet then denied he was so at Genspect. I have wanted to go back and read what I'd written in that comment, but hadn't the nerve. What if I had gotten it wrong? I was afraid in my passion of anger I had disgraced myself. Bringing things back to thoughts of James Shupe, perhaps one person's criticism can be disregarded, but what if a cumulative weight of a hundred criticisms could crush a person? I rethink this often. But every time I finish my review of matters, I think, "Illy had it coming." I just don't know though. That blue velvet dress with cutouts at the shoulders was just so tacky; it was in such poor taste to wear it when and where he did, when there are so many really cool women's things available. So like an 'in your face' AGP man. Anyway, in the long run I'm still conflicted about posting comments that are judgmental and critical. I acted in haste, and am repenting in leisure. Phil does have a sweet and sensitive face. I wish Mr. Shupe had not done it.

Expand full comment
Mighty Warrior's avatar

James Shupe was a scumbag! He sexually and physically abused his wife and threatened his neighbors with a firearm. Maybe this is why, he excluded his daughter, because he was a self-centered, narcissist male who was abusive to his wife and probably abusive to his child. She had enough of his bologna throughout the years and she probably cut him out of her life! I hope his wife and family can now find peace without him around! Honestly his wife should be granted his military pension for the many years of abuse she endured with him. So, I'm not sad that he is gone! This was his final over dramatized performance!

Expand full comment
JeanA's avatar

How heartbreaking

Expand full comment