X user suggests Genspect had something to do with my medical transition and detransition timeline. So let's talk about the reason for the overlap years when I was making content.
It seems common practice, at least around here, to insert IUDs without any pain or anxiety medication. I was told to take Tylenol before my insertion, that it didn't matter where I was in my cycle and that it "doesn't hurt much". What a crock of shit. It hurt so much, and they just told me to "breathe". I still can't believe they do that to women, and just lie to their face about it. I'm so sorry you went through that, I'm fortunate that my removal was very simple, can't imagine having to have it surgically removed after all of that.
I could tell you about 30+ years of invasive procedures post DES exposure in utero. Your story gave me flashbacks to that. My favorite: Applying liquid nitrogen to my cervix 60 sec. at a time, several times in a row, no anesthesia.
This made me cry. I'm so very sorry you experienced that. Makes it all the more courageous of you to be doing what you do. Thank you for everything, Ex. ❤️
OMG, Ex, what a nightmare! So sorry you went through this utter hell and thank you for sharing this also with the rest of us female population whether Trans identified, or not, whether gay or straight, we ALL need to know what women are being subjected to so we can yell louder and more consistently against all this b.s. being done to women (sure it isn't just trans-identified who get some of these procedures done). Wish you healing, joy and thank you for somehow retaiing your sense of humour!
Ex, just a question for clarity, so you were yourself "Trans identified" (as I'll phrase it) for 12 years approximately? OR did you de-transition mentally prior to having the device/hormone implant removed? Could you at some point write a little perhaps about what brought you to the understanding that you were NOT Transgender? Would be helpful for those of us with family members caught in the cult to try to understand how the de-identification process works and what we can do to support them in that (if they decide they are not in fact Trans in later 20's). Thank you so much for all you do and for your delightful video from Florida! You are a wonder! & years with my only niece who transitioned medically at 18-19.5 (surgery after T). Read a lot (books) and researched on line also for these 7 years. She's now with a girlfriend (after Trans-female --bio male what I'll call "boy-friend" of 2 years did not work out due to impacts on their sex lives of estrogen in him among other things). She always identified as gay girl from 13-18 then wham, suddenly Trans identified after much time at home with family illness of Dad, Mom doing caretaking and out of school; gifted girl but no education beyond h.s.;artistic; the usual profile, really. Breaks my heart. Have a number of gay-girlfriends and zero issues with gay men or women; don't even really care what adults do , real adults, not youth whose brains are still maturing, as long as women's rights legal and separate spaces are respected (but I do NOT want AGP males out in public in our spaces thank you!).
I stopped self identifying as trans in 2015 but I retained the belief that i must have some endocrinological need for the hormones through 2022 when I finally accepted that my interpersonal difficulties and anxiety and skin issues and pelvic pain were most likely connected to the drug I was still on. Then it took awhile for me to work up the courage to ask them to remove it and then I had to ask a few providers since they said "it's not time to remove it yet"
Like I was told I had vaginal atrophy by the gender doctor after the double dose but it's like I made myself forget through magical thinking because I couldn't accept the seriousness of it and was fearful of using estrogen cream or testosterone (which in GAC is thought to then aromatize to estrogen in the vagina and magically prevent atrophy. I caught a Boston Children's Hellspital doctor saying exactly that in 2022 when I did Boston Children's Hell serious and the memories came back and the dots of my own life, trauma and health started integrating with my intellectual understanding of trans medicine as applied to other people. As an autistic person, I have more insight into the outside world (which I call outsight) than insight into myself. I'm often the last to see into myself.
thank you. at some point it would be massively helpful to family and beloved friends of autistic people if you wrote about what it feels like to not have this self-insight. many autistic people have insight difficulties, difficulty describing bodily sensations including pain etc and it makes it hard to support that person. more understanding from non-autistics is so needed.
I genuinely struggle to differentiate between physical and emotional pain in both directions, especially the more of either kind I'm in. Last year I didn't notice I had bacterial pneumonia until my lungs collapsed from the inside because it felt exactly like anxiety to me. I also struggle to notice patterns about myself because my perspective is that my actions are a logical response to my environment which keeps changing. But of course I'm human and have blindspots and patterns like anyone else so I've needed a lot of therapy to learn them so I know if someone tells me I keep doing something that's bothering them, the they might be correct. When I was younger, I would react inappropriately to that kind of feedback and judge the person offering it instead of hearing them out, even if they were clearly a trusted person who loved me.
I remember that post you made from your hospital bed when you had the lung illness. I was perplexed at the time, because you said you hadn't known you were sick in that way. I didn't understand how you were unable to make that distinction, and thereby realize that you pretty much needed emergency care. I understand now why that was true, thanks to this post here. Sometimes before the understanding of what's happening to me is made clear, I feel a subtle change. From the perspective of many years lived, I now stop, say to myself,"Something is different. Something has changed, either in my mind (mentation or emotion), my body, my vision, my mood, perspective. I don't know what has shifted, but there's been a change." This prepares me to await developments, and eventually identify the change, and evaluate its level of threat. I really have to break it down in this way. I'm more ready to say to the person nearest to me, "Something is wrong. Help me figure out what." Please don't endanger yourself Ex by not asking for help. You are needed and we can't spare you.
Very sorry you had to endure such horrific medical abuse. Thank you for using your hard-earned experience to educate, which you do with style and tremendous wit.
this kind of dynamic, and the actions and medieval instruments used [tenaculum], are SO familiar to women who've had various gyn procedures and devices. women in medicine---docs and nurses---are absolutely just as sadistic and callous.
Just looked up 'temaculum'; it's a fork at one end, with finger holes like scissors on the other. Of the several types of ends there are some with jagged saw edges, sharp points, and hooks. Even if they claim to have used a different style, if you say you were stabbed, you WERE fcking stabbed! This is sickening.
Yep. It's used to grab and in order to hold the cervix, stab. But hey, women are told they will only feel a "pinch," which---if anyone says that to you, beware. Of course, they could treat the anticipated pain, by giving a benzo and waiting half an hour. You couldn't drive home of course on the benzo. But if you and the doc planned together for this, you could arrange for a ride to and from--a friend, Lyft, whatever. Reasonable and civilized. But no, we always just treat the woman like a piece of livestock. It's a tradition. It's what we do.
Exulansic, I have subscribed to you for years. ❤️ I’ve often wondered about how much your Berkeley University experience may have caused you to go through this torment. Judith Butler, indeed. Did the transgender way of thinking start there?
What a horrific story. It’s appalling you were subjected to such gross medical abuse. There’s a lot of it about, waiting to be revealed. The lies and harms of gender medicine are just part of an industry that’s far from evidence-based in so many fields and decidedly not patient-centred.
I was in depo from feb 2011 till sept 2024. I have osteopenia (thank you for the recommendation to get a DEXA scan) i have since started weight training and taking extended release birth control pill. My gyno said the estrogen from the pill is more beneficial for bone growth than weight training. And that I need to wait 16 months before getting another DEXA scan.
It's alive and incredibly nutritious. Has oodles of bioavailable phosphorus, calcium, probiotics and healthy fats. It's delicious, and I make yogurt and cheese from it. The leftover whey goes to my garden. It's amazing. Makes fabulous bread (much better than pasteurized milk). Who knew, right?
I'm sorry you went through that.
Oh my God. Thank you for being brave enough to share that.
That’s horrendous
It seems common practice, at least around here, to insert IUDs without any pain or anxiety medication. I was told to take Tylenol before my insertion, that it didn't matter where I was in my cycle and that it "doesn't hurt much". What a crock of shit. It hurt so much, and they just told me to "breathe". I still can't believe they do that to women, and just lie to their face about it. I'm so sorry you went through that, I'm fortunate that my removal was very simple, can't imagine having to have it surgically removed after all of that.
I could tell you about 30+ years of invasive procedures post DES exposure in utero. Your story gave me flashbacks to that. My favorite: Applying liquid nitrogen to my cervix 60 sec. at a time, several times in a row, no anesthesia.
This made me cry. I'm so very sorry you experienced that. Makes it all the more courageous of you to be doing what you do. Thank you for everything, Ex. ❤️
OMG, Ex, what a nightmare! So sorry you went through this utter hell and thank you for sharing this also with the rest of us female population whether Trans identified, or not, whether gay or straight, we ALL need to know what women are being subjected to so we can yell louder and more consistently against all this b.s. being done to women (sure it isn't just trans-identified who get some of these procedures done). Wish you healing, joy and thank you for somehow retaiing your sense of humour!
Ex, just a question for clarity, so you were yourself "Trans identified" (as I'll phrase it) for 12 years approximately? OR did you de-transition mentally prior to having the device/hormone implant removed? Could you at some point write a little perhaps about what brought you to the understanding that you were NOT Transgender? Would be helpful for those of us with family members caught in the cult to try to understand how the de-identification process works and what we can do to support them in that (if they decide they are not in fact Trans in later 20's). Thank you so much for all you do and for your delightful video from Florida! You are a wonder! & years with my only niece who transitioned medically at 18-19.5 (surgery after T). Read a lot (books) and researched on line also for these 7 years. She's now with a girlfriend (after Trans-female --bio male what I'll call "boy-friend" of 2 years did not work out due to impacts on their sex lives of estrogen in him among other things). She always identified as gay girl from 13-18 then wham, suddenly Trans identified after much time at home with family illness of Dad, Mom doing caretaking and out of school; gifted girl but no education beyond h.s.;artistic; the usual profile, really. Breaks my heart. Have a number of gay-girlfriends and zero issues with gay men or women; don't even really care what adults do , real adults, not youth whose brains are still maturing, as long as women's rights legal and separate spaces are respected (but I do NOT want AGP males out in public in our spaces thank you!).
I stopped self identifying as trans in 2015 but I retained the belief that i must have some endocrinological need for the hormones through 2022 when I finally accepted that my interpersonal difficulties and anxiety and skin issues and pelvic pain were most likely connected to the drug I was still on. Then it took awhile for me to work up the courage to ask them to remove it and then I had to ask a few providers since they said "it's not time to remove it yet"
Like I was told I had vaginal atrophy by the gender doctor after the double dose but it's like I made myself forget through magical thinking because I couldn't accept the seriousness of it and was fearful of using estrogen cream or testosterone (which in GAC is thought to then aromatize to estrogen in the vagina and magically prevent atrophy. I caught a Boston Children's Hellspital doctor saying exactly that in 2022 when I did Boston Children's Hell serious and the memories came back and the dots of my own life, trauma and health started integrating with my intellectual understanding of trans medicine as applied to other people. As an autistic person, I have more insight into the outside world (which I call outsight) than insight into myself. I'm often the last to see into myself.
thank you. at some point it would be massively helpful to family and beloved friends of autistic people if you wrote about what it feels like to not have this self-insight. many autistic people have insight difficulties, difficulty describing bodily sensations including pain etc and it makes it hard to support that person. more understanding from non-autistics is so needed.
I have the same questions.
I genuinely struggle to differentiate between physical and emotional pain in both directions, especially the more of either kind I'm in. Last year I didn't notice I had bacterial pneumonia until my lungs collapsed from the inside because it felt exactly like anxiety to me. I also struggle to notice patterns about myself because my perspective is that my actions are a logical response to my environment which keeps changing. But of course I'm human and have blindspots and patterns like anyone else so I've needed a lot of therapy to learn them so I know if someone tells me I keep doing something that's bothering them, the they might be correct. When I was younger, I would react inappropriately to that kind of feedback and judge the person offering it instead of hearing them out, even if they were clearly a trusted person who loved me.
I remember that post you made from your hospital bed when you had the lung illness. I was perplexed at the time, because you said you hadn't known you were sick in that way. I didn't understand how you were unable to make that distinction, and thereby realize that you pretty much needed emergency care. I understand now why that was true, thanks to this post here. Sometimes before the understanding of what's happening to me is made clear, I feel a subtle change. From the perspective of many years lived, I now stop, say to myself,"Something is different. Something has changed, either in my mind (mentation or emotion), my body, my vision, my mood, perspective. I don't know what has shifted, but there's been a change." This prepares me to await developments, and eventually identify the change, and evaluate its level of threat. I really have to break it down in this way. I'm more ready to say to the person nearest to me, "Something is wrong. Help me figure out what." Please don't endanger yourself Ex by not asking for help. You are needed and we can't spare you.
Hellspital!
Very sorry you had to endure such horrific medical abuse. Thank you for using your hard-earned experience to educate, which you do with style and tremendous wit.
this kind of dynamic, and the actions and medieval instruments used [tenaculum], are SO familiar to women who've had various gyn procedures and devices. women in medicine---docs and nurses---are absolutely just as sadistic and callous.
Just looked up 'temaculum'; it's a fork at one end, with finger holes like scissors on the other. Of the several types of ends there are some with jagged saw edges, sharp points, and hooks. Even if they claim to have used a different style, if you say you were stabbed, you WERE fcking stabbed! This is sickening.
Yep. It's used to grab and in order to hold the cervix, stab. But hey, women are told they will only feel a "pinch," which---if anyone says that to you, beware. Of course, they could treat the anticipated pain, by giving a benzo and waiting half an hour. You couldn't drive home of course on the benzo. But if you and the doc planned together for this, you could arrange for a ride to and from--a friend, Lyft, whatever. Reasonable and civilized. But no, we always just treat the woman like a piece of livestock. It's a tradition. It's what we do.
Exulansic, I have subscribed to you for years. ❤️ I’ve often wondered about how much your Berkeley University experience may have caused you to go through this torment. Judith Butler, indeed. Did the transgender way of thinking start there?
What you’ve gone through makes me very angry.
It's not nice to fool Mother Nature...
I can relate to that graphic! So KD is still harassing you? Remarkable. I've finally moved on from what she did to me.
What a horrific story. It’s appalling you were subjected to such gross medical abuse. There’s a lot of it about, waiting to be revealed. The lies and harms of gender medicine are just part of an industry that’s far from evidence-based in so many fields and decidedly not patient-centred.
This is terrifying.
I was in depo from feb 2011 till sept 2024. I have osteopenia (thank you for the recommendation to get a DEXA scan) i have since started weight training and taking extended release birth control pill. My gyno said the estrogen from the pill is more beneficial for bone growth than weight training. And that I need to wait 16 months before getting another DEXA scan.
Raw, unpasteurized milk may help remineralize your bones.
Why does it need to be raw and unpasteurized? (Genuinely asking, not trying to come off confrontational or anything)
Please don't drink unpasteurized milk
It's alive and incredibly nutritious. Has oodles of bioavailable phosphorus, calcium, probiotics and healthy fats. It's delicious, and I make yogurt and cheese from it. The leftover whey goes to my garden. It's amazing. Makes fabulous bread (much better than pasteurized milk). Who knew, right?
sounds delicious, but i think thats illegal in my country.
Might also give you spinal tuberculosis which I promise you, you don't want.