Let's talk about my medical transition experience, then.

X user suggests Genspect had something to do with my medical transition and detransition timeline. So let's talk about the reason for the overlap years when I was making content.

I'm going to put a massive trigger warning on this post for frank discussion of sexually traumatic events I experienced in the course of receiving gender-affirming care (hormonal menstrual suppression/ estrogen reduction) from age 23-35. Proceed with caution if you are sensitive to such things. The TL;DR is that the traumatic nature of my GAMS treatment and the severe anxiety the hormones separately created, combined with lack of social support, made me fearful of the process of having the implant removed and the possible negative impact on my mental health of going off the hormones. I had also been lied to about how they worked and did not know how much I had been damaged by them, down to my bones.

Allow me to address this.

In 2012, after 2 years on the anabolic steroid injections of MPA (depo provera), my doctor added an implant called Mirena. I was having breakthrough bleeding causing gender dysphoria. This was unrelated to ovulation or contraception. These two different progestins were intended to further suppress my menstrual cycle to affirm my gender as a trans man. The combination caused terrifying and medically documented heart symptoms, panic disorder, osteopenia, and reproductive atrophy. I also have a problem with one of the muscles in my hip, which I suspect to be either atrophy or fibrosis from 2.5 years of injecting a massive bolus of a steroid into it.

After 6 months of this, they stopped the MPA injections. I was left on the implant. When my original sadistic gender doctor implanted it, without anesthetic initially this was extremely traumatic for me. It simply didn't work also. I threw up from the pain and bled so much he prescribed vicodin and misoprostol - the actual standard of care - for the next attempt.

The next attempt succeeded due to pain management. My doctor then cut the wire so it could not be removed by me or anyone in-office. He said it was so my partners didn't have to feel it. I was not educated as to what consequences this would have.

Six years later, in 2019, I began to have severe cramping. I was told that I would need to have it surgically removed due to the lack of a wire. Despite my severe negative reaction to the initial insertion, they still demanded me to prove I could feel my own cervix, by allowing them to first torture me and then provide pain relief after I screamed awhile. I was only given an nurse dose of an anxiety medication called ativan initially. Then a team of 6 people held me down and unbeknownst to me, stabbed me with a tenaculum. This caused another vasovagal reaction and a lot of screaming and begging for pain relief, which they dribbled in THREE 0.25mcg doses of fentanyl, making me shriek and beg for each one. This was a team of mostly women at a Kaiser Permanente surgical center who did this to me and presumably every female patient who comes in.

Meanwhile, as I was screaming in pain, they gaslit me that I should not still be in pain because they were no longer touching me. Then they put in a new implant, which immediately DOUBLED my systemic dose of the hormone released. At this time, the medical field and manufacturer were still insisting Mirena does not act outside the uterus, so it couldn't be affecting my brain. This was a lie meant to market the device as side effect free. The manufacturer now admits it isn't true. This destabilization contributed to a serious complication, similar in intensity yet different in manifestation to the heart symptoms from the initial implant, that I'm not going to get into in this post.

So yea, I was, somehow, reluctant to let a medical provider attempt to take it out. I didn't want more sexual trauma. And I believed it was not possible that it could be causing my difficulties, because I was lied to by multiple medical professionals for over a decade. I said my trauma was worth it because it must be helping me since I remembered the initial injection helping, which conditioned me to feel I needed this hormone, even if I no longer knew why. But my core self said no, not yet, to more of the same.

I needed to spend time connecting to and learning from the detrans community and mentally accepting the true horror of what I had endured. And by extension, what women in general, trans or not, are enduring at the hands of gynecology, a sadistic field that feels ENTITLED to sexually traumatize women and girls by performing genital procedures on us WITHOUT anesthesia. Because that's what the father of gynecology did to enslaved women. Some gynecologists are aware of this and are trying to change the field, and some, like a GC gynecologist on X that is a part of Genspect named Julia Mason, continue to gaslight me that the tenaculum doesn't stab. You don't bleed for a day from being "grabbed."

I had my implant removed in January 2023. Though I had to ask multiple times, at least the wire was intact so it was able to be removed non-surgically. I didn't have any involvement with Genspect events until November of 2023. To connect these two events in my life to smear Genspect is an example of Genspect Derangement Syndrome causing another person to behave foolishly online instead of reasoning from evidence and first principles, or you know, asking me for a basic timeline.

So there you have it. That's the story.