Update on Ill Duchess

The episode continues. Trigger warning for discussion of self-harm. I know some of you have been as deeply affected by this as I have been. If you need help, please keep seeking it. It IS out there.

More of my thoughts on Duchess Lois’ MAiD suicide tour. Because of my specific history with the concept of suicide, I am still primarily feeling anger, and that is okay. Whatever feelings are coming up for you, dear reader, in the wake of this absurdity, are okay. He has now started gaslighting concerned people that having a doctor kill you does not constitute self-harm. This would make any reasonable concerned person feel anger.

Ultimately, this individual is deeply disturbed, appears to be in some sort of suicidal crisis/episode, and is blaming his circumstances for feelings he may lack true insight into, like most ostentatious suicide-baiting people. He seems to be reveling in the attention he has received since making this threat, even when directly interacting with tearful friends, as he did on Benjamin Boyce’s channel recently. This probably rivals the attention he received when he announced his intention to start the process of “transitioning” into a woman, i.e., having his genitalia removed. He’s also attempting to control journalists, telling us not to write about his public statements without speaking to him. Too bad!

He is also using the threat of his upcoming demise to attempt to get a free car and acting gigs.

I feel a need to remind everyone: He still doesn’t have feelings cancer. He’s still neglecting the work of addressing the root of his issues and is instead coping with abuse of a mind-altering substance called attention. Perhaps he lacks the capacity to do the work. Perhaps he has another substance problem. Perhaps he has a metabolic illness. Perhaps he has a vitamin deficiency. Perhaps he’s just mad at the world. Perhaps he’s angry an individual, and this is how he’s chosen to punish them for leaving, without having to go on the sort of ‘unhinged tirades’ he recently accused me of indulging. He cited this as the reason he wanted nothing to do with me, a few days before the suicide tour began, after someone else had randomly suggested it and tagged me. We had never interacted prior to that comment, and he gave no specifics.

Perhaps he wants to increase his clout. Given that his follower count has gone up 50% in 3 weeks, he’s succeeded. None of us actually know what his intentions are. Denying that suicide is a form of self-harm is a mind-game. To me, this behavior seems motivated by enjoyment of control over others. All that is known for sure is that he’s an unreliable narrator behaving inappropriately and harmfully.

He’s been posting about loved ones reaching out to host a funeral for him while he’s still alive, and he proposed a ‘bestie weekend’ instead, which is obviously not a safe idea for those friends (unless they want to find a body).

No matter how much I roll my eyes, no matter how much anyone tries to help, we’re all going to be traumatically impacted if/when we get the news that Mr. Duchess has followed through. Everyone aware of the farce has already been traumatically impacted in one way or another by the hinge-free ride he’s decided to take us on. No matter how many spirits he has, he’s still a man, and men are far more likely to complete a suicide. So don’t be surprised, and work towards not blaming yourself. It was not your fault. You had no control over his choices.

Lessons I learned when I was in Eva Kurilova’s place, attempting to reason with an unreasonable suicidal friend, fully believing I could change their mind: If you think you’re helping, you're not. If you think you’ve hurt him, he hurt you. If you’re angry at the medical system, good. If you’re not angry at this man, why not?