Yeah she essentially is most concerned with herself and obsessed with her body and image. Where is the baby? After having 3 kids, I didn't want to put them down for months, they'd come out of my body. Something tells me she might not be able to actually form a bond with the child given her exposure to testosterone. She talks about her voice, her scars, and her "situation " but doesn't seem to relate this to her actual physical body...like it "will resolve itself on its own" is a statement that is very disassociated. And the videos women do postpartum usually involve a baby, not a person worried about scar tissue from breast removal. Scary. I can't imagine the kid surviving or thriving and these people are so selfish we'll definitely never know, either.
Omg is she for real? Narcissist does not even cover her navel gazing. Where are cps she is so totally unfit to be a mother, that poor baby is going to bear the scars of her stupidity for the rest of her life. I think she should be in jail for child abuse. Also, silver lining, the state will pay for her totally unacceptable and unnecessary cosmetic surgeries, thanks so much taxpayers of America. BTW small hands, narrow shoulders, feminine facial features, surgery won't help that she will always look like a woman
When I was in high school a quarter century ago, a 16 year old couple I sort of knew (the father was my friend’s brother) had an unplanned pregnancy and ended up in a similar situation to this. The young mother had mental illness, had taken a teratogenic medication for a few days at a crucial early stage of the fetus’s development (may have been lithium? or an antipsychotic...it disrupted the formation of the fetus’s spine) and her baby girl was born paralyzed from the waist down (which was better than predicted...at least she could move her arms around torso and breathe on her own), was mentally impaired (what is the current term? at the time they still described her as having moderate retardation), and had trouble swallowing so needed a feeding tube. The young parents split up before their daughter was a year old, then the troubled young mother abandoned her child, who was moved several states away to be raised by her maternal grandmother. The child’s medical care costs taxpayers half a million dollars a year and her life expectancy is normal (~80 years). She’s in her twenties now and has only seen her father twice since she was a toddler. The blessing is that she is a very happy person and is not in physical pain. I met her when she was a baby and she was far more alert and interactive than the infant in these tiktok videos. I looked her up on FB recently and saw her high school graduation pictures: she was all smiles and is now able to stand with a walker.
My hope is that this baby girl ends up placed with more attentive and competent guardians, and that they bring a lawsuit against whichever medical practice employs the doctors who prescribed that testosterone to the baby’s mother. Back before Accutane was banned entirely, women and girls couldn’t get a prescription for it unless they were taking hormonal birth control because of the horrific effects Accutane could have on a developing fetus. Why isn’t there any similar safeguard in place for women of reproductive age taking high dose testosterone? Clearly it presents a problem because hormonal BC may not work, but it could be required to have a copper IUD inserted before testosterone is prescribed. That might actually dissuade girls and women from jumping into this so recklessly. Testosterone alone is not reliable birth control. It is a known teratogen. Someone needs to be held accountable for the medical harm this baby has incurred as a result of the drugs her mother received. Shame on Planned Parenthood for participating in the sham that is “gender affirming” medicine, too. All women should be entitled to safe abortion access but it’s a very bad situation when the abortion providers are also giving teenage girls 21st century thalidomide.
Thanks for sharing. You're right, there is a disturbing lack of connected thinking from either medical providers or patients about the teratogenic effects of the testosterone they are dispensing like fizzy pop.
Point of information, Isotretinoin, the chemical formerly known as Accutane, is still available. Roche no longer markets it as Accutane, but the drug is prescribed in generic form. I am a survivor of Isotretinoin. It has antiandrogenic effects, which for me as a male who was given it aged 14, means I no longer have a sex drive or sexual function; I'm 30 now. I understand that it can also cause catastrophic effects for female sexual function. Another drug which is very popular with young teens on TikTok, because hey, the 'glow up' looks great in five second video clips. Of course, the real damage is below the surface of the skin. If I could be bothered, I'd compile an ethnography like what Exulansic is doing here. But my general motivation is extremely low, because, as I said, no sex drive...
I think there are a lot of similarities with the trans drugs. In both cases the rationale for their use is the medicalisation of ordinary teenage angst.
The hair loss drug finasteride is another one, a cosmetic drug that causes sexual dysfunction. I think of them collectively as the Adobe Photoshop Suite of pharmaceuticals, because they feed off this peculiarly modern dissociative disorder where people are so used to altering the presentation of their online self with, for example, image editing software, that they imagine that altering the appearance of their actual, embodied self must be just as easy and inconsequential.
I am so sorry for what happened to you. I am a woman and nearly went on Accutane myself in my teens but thankfully the BC pills they made me start on first (despite not being sexually active) were so unpleasant (debilitating cramps) that I just opted to go off everything and live with the acne. Later I learned that the young male actor who had a role in A Few Good Men sued for damages because his experience with Accutane caused permanent digestive problems like IBS. I thought his lawsuit is what led to it being banned, but I guess it should be no surprise Big Pharma simply stopped calling it Accutane and kept selling it to young people under a new name. Infuriating and devastating.
This is really problematic for me. I understand that infants need to be with their mothers. I understand that women should have bodily autonomy. I want that for myself. I feel for this innocent child.
On the other hand, there is no world where this is a fit parent and pretty soon, the repercussions from this manifest and pretty dramatic lack of capacity to care for this infant are going to have consequences that will require a lifetime of care to unwind, if it's possible to cure them at all.
First, and easiest; "your" ID does not belong to you. It doesn't matter how you feel about it. It's there in order for others to be able to identify you. The most important use of ID is for the purpose of identifying your body after an accident. If you're a woman, your body know it. If you are to survive a critical accident, it's important that the medical providers know it too. All the other reasons we use ID, to travel, to vote, to buy liquor, are frills. They are peripheral. They don't matter. If you spend your time gazing at your driver's license for self-validation, you are doing life wrong.
Next: I'm an avid viewer of The Handmaid's Tale and when I see women like this, all I can think is, "maybe Aunt Lydia isn't 100% wrong about life after all." I really do not feel as though it's okay for this woman to be allowed to ruin her daughter's life when her daughter is in no position to object.
Child Protective Services exist for a reason. In my opinion, apprehension is the lesser of two evils in this case.
As for what she's doing to her own body? I'm past caring. I'm glad it's costing her a lot of money because the alternative is for it to cost us a lot of money and I'm not into it. My compassion evaporated quite some time ago.
She's actually anticipating only paying 10k of the 133k bill. She fully expects insurance (you) to pick up the rest. Infants belong with their mothers unless the mother is unfit. She should have supervised visitation but clearly, if you watch the unredacted originals on her tiktok, the infant is completely checked out. And mom is ignoring medical advice that inconveniences her. What's the odds she's been told to follow up on something by the pediatrician and decided it can wait?
Yes, I wrote the comment before I realized she was using insurance to fund her addiction to cosmetic surgery and cross-sex hormones.
If you have a look at Canadian news (the National posts whole newscasts on Youtube) You'll notice there's a lot of talk about the health care system under pressure. There are the usual dire warnings about "an aging population" But the fact is, all trans surgery and attendant health care is covered by every province's health care system. Often they send people to the US for care and pay the costs out of the money the province receives from tax revenues or as a grant from the federal government to cover health care costs.
I would love to be confident that I could "live and let live" without having to consider what's going to happen to health care access in blue states like mine that tend to attract young women seeking these surgeries. But these young women and their male counterparts are already stressing the system. As they age and their physical recklessness begins to bear fruit, it will only get worse.
It seems to be the same in the UK, as far as we know these total idiots get their surgery (including the men in prisons) paid for by the NHS that ALL the tax payers of the UK pay for. This vanity surgery is NOT what the NHS was meant for! I've also read that these men get their hair removal paid for when women who are distressed by PCOS (and probably other conditions that cause) excess hair growth are denied treatment.
No medical system can withstand the burden of hundreds of thousands of frivolous cosmetic surgeries causing countless problems every year. That is where we're headed.
I've been thinking about why otherwise logical corporate executives at health insurance companies would support all this trans nonsense and it's becoming apparent to me that the goal is to sink anything resembling universal health care.
Think about it: if servicing the needs of these people take the NHS and Canada's systems down, then the private insurers can offer a "solution" in the form of a public private partnership that allows people who can afford it to opt out of the public system. It's already happening in Canada. It's the subject of some very heated debate. Disabling socialized medicine in other countries would bolster support for repealing the Affordable Care Act. Doing all of these things will give new life to the for-profit medical players.
It's a huge step toward restoring Republicans in power too. Just let this run rampant and screw the system over and women will stop voting for Democrats. Democrats are already losing women's votes, we all know that. In a Republican government, corporate oligarchs rule. Profits are guaranteed. The rich remain secure. The poor? Well, they don't care about the poor. Keeping the poor quietly in place is always a good thing for the rich.
The infant is completely checked out?! I know attachment disorder can occur in the first 48 HOURS of an infant's life. I tried to foster a severely attachment-disordered teenage girl, and of course once she started getting attached she started acting out -- I felt thankful at first because she was finally acting like a teenager -- and then her ENABLERS (the caseworker, the social workers) whisked her away, letting her escape her school suspension and any consequences. I have little faith in child protective services.
Absolutely no insight into her self absorption. Even the few videos about the baby are mainly about what clothes options are easier for mom to maneuver. The down line consequences for these individuals is very frightening to consider. And all of the expense is absorbed by insurance premium payers.
this rings a bell for me. My mother was a narcissist. I can't and won't get into the details of the neglect, the venom, the competitive bullshit and the plain old abuse she leveled at me but it has taken a lifetime to get to some kind of normal baseline.
Anyway, one of her signature traits was a fixation on my clothes and one aspect of that was their ease of care. I remember when I started wearing tights, she got me out of bed to rage at me for "rolling" my tights off instead of just taking them off. Evidently, this made the tights a nuisance to unroll to put into the laundry. To my 6 year of bewilderment and terror, she mimicked me taking the tights off by seductively rolling them down my legs. She accused me of sexy undressing and told me it was making her life hard. I was six. And by the way, when I take off tights or leggings or anything else that sticks to my legs now, they end up rolled. I am just trying to get them off me because I can't stand anything clinging to my skin.
I've always wondered why that memory kept popping up. It seemed so trivial, totally insignificant in comparison to a hundred other things. But now that you mention it as you did, there's another piece in the puzzle that has fallen into place.
This is a narcissistic mother. She will torture this child for life. Child Protective Services is deeply flawed, I agree, but the knowledge that someone is trying to help and the chance that help might be available might be worth it. I grew up knowing no one would help me. And my mother used foster care as a threat. It is a lot to unravel as an adult. I would like to see other children spared that particular burden.
This kind of abuse flourishes in secrecy. It sounds so trivial, but it is part of a larger pattern. The success of it depends, in part, on victims deciding it's too trivial to mention. We feel shame because it makes us sound petty. It's not possible for a small child to be petty. "Petty" is a very sophisticated social concept. It doesn't enter a child's emotional repertoire until adolescence.
I have a diploma and years of experience working in child development, I should have recognized this much sooner.
Sometimes in secrecy and sometimes in plain sight! In my case, my mom was the martyr and at 6 I was the petty/annoying/( fill in the blank) child who was “loved so much”. As a result of being “loved so much”, mother got angrier than all the other moms because her love was so great!!! And I bought that narrative for over 30 years!!! I feel so stupid!
She clearly resents this baby, and then makes sure to hop back onto the 'roid rage meds. Horrifying. And because we live in clown world, she gets to keep the child while the authorities are removing children from non-affirming parents.
I'm unfamiliar with the US social support system, is there some financial benefit to her if she keeps the baby with her? I assume if she REALLY didn't want to care for her there are other people who would be happy to foster/adopt her? That is what would happen in the UK, the baby would be relinquished to social services who would find a foster then an adoptive home. Not a perfect solution by any means but probably better than the one the birth parents could offer.
There are sizable tax breaks for having a child, and I think maybe a larger allotance of food stamps if she is eligible for them? The tax breaks alone are going to be less than the cost of the child. Her decision to keep the child is quite strange to me... How will her daughter not constantly remind her that she is female?
That's the answer. My mother was like this. She clung to me like a barnacle that would not be scraped away. I tried to "go no contact" more times than I can count but ultimately, it was easier to just move away and control access because she would "shake the bushes" and make everyone I knew miserable by nagging them if I ever dared drop regular contact. Eventually I married someone from another country and moved five time zones away. She still hung on. Narcissists love having children, being a mother puts them in a position of real, continuous and unchallenged power.
*****And this is for my shitty sister, who is her apprentice and is actively looking for reasons why I should be cut out of my mother's will. (she's scraping the internet to dox me) I kept the relationship because I had no choice but all children love their mothers. Or at least the love the possibility that their mother might one day be a loving parent. In my opinion, the scapegoated child of a narcissistic mother should get the whole estate because we suffer with this paradox our whole lives. But that's another story.*****
If she and her husband are legally married then SNAP is unlikely. If they make so little as to qualify for that then they already also pay no taxes, only SS/Medicare. If they qualify for SNAP then she also qualifies for WIC. If they're not legally married then she can get all of that plus a bump up the list for section 8 housing, potential cash benefit, SSI if whatever diagnoses qualify her as disabled. If she gets SSI then the child can potentially qualify for a benefit under related programs for having a "disabled" parent.
Regarding the last question, it's kind of you to think she sees this child as a real person.
I recently put Mr. Spots, my cocker spaniel, in a kennel for ten days while I was on vacation. I can assure you, I was MUCH more concerned about him than she seems to be about her infant daughter. "Well, my mother might take off work, or maybe my husband can do it . . ." WTF.
Right? When my son was about 5 months old, my husband and I went away for a little vacation and left him with my mom. I missed him so much that we wound up coming home days early!
She THREW AWAY her health care pamphlets? SEVEN HOURS of colic? The way she holds her baby is just wrong. I had to stop watching. This woman is not a fit parent.
I think concerns for the baby’s development are valid. You are more knowledgeable than me on this topic so it wouldn’t be fair for me to compare my children’s development to hers but mine hit all their milestones right on time. The only difference is my son started walking at 9 months and my daughter was a little delayed with walking. Both mine tried to hold up their heads as newborns, and she admits that she doesn’t do much tummy time which isn’t good. I did it several times a day every day with mine. I didn’t want my babies with an odd-shaped head first of all. And that baby definitely has an odd shaped head. My son had colic at 3 months but the problem wasn’t so much him, it was me being a new mother and having an over production of breast milk, thinking he wasn’t getting enough (still feeling full after nursing). Another thing I found odd is she said in a video there were a couple times they cut the baby’s fingers while trimming her nails and that the ferret’s nails were easier to trim. I think maybe she is just making things more difficult for herself for attention. I don’t understand why one wouldn’t want to put off an elective procedure for the baby. I visited her Etsy store and she’s very talented, but I agree she needs more steady income, unless her husband can support both her and the baby which seems like he can’t.
Your mention of tummy time reminded me of the woman I saw on TV whose dead baby was put on her tummy after the birth so she could grieve. The baby was alive and that tummy time was just what she needed.
Yes I know what story you’re talking about! I’m due next month with my 3rd baby and if I knew all the things I know now the birth of my first 2 would have been different. One of the things I requested is that I will be able to hold my baby immediately after she is born (given there are no complications of course). During my uncle’s birth they used forceps that damaged his brain and he was diagnosed as mentally retarded. Maybe they used a vacuum on her baby during birth. My son had some bruising on one side of his head because he was stuck in the birth canal for a little longer than he should but it was gone by 3 months, so I’m not sure why that baby’s head would be shaped like that other than not enough tummy time.
As a Jew, this is the only Xmas present i wanted!! Thank you Ex
"Already stressed with a 3-1/2 month old" on top of constant pretending, and as Ex says, the constant "navel gazing." OMG.
The most self-absorbed individual you’ve covered. The potential for neglect of the child is huge.
the most dangerous woman i have seen in ANY exulansic vid, in over a year of following her.
My very thought!
Yeah she essentially is most concerned with herself and obsessed with her body and image. Where is the baby? After having 3 kids, I didn't want to put them down for months, they'd come out of my body. Something tells me she might not be able to actually form a bond with the child given her exposure to testosterone. She talks about her voice, her scars, and her "situation " but doesn't seem to relate this to her actual physical body...like it "will resolve itself on its own" is a statement that is very disassociated. And the videos women do postpartum usually involve a baby, not a person worried about scar tissue from breast removal. Scary. I can't imagine the kid surviving or thriving and these people are so selfish we'll definitely never know, either.
You're very generous because I'm damn near 100% positive the kid is being neglected in one way shape or form
What's the thing on the back of the baby's head? Hemangioma?
I don't know but it needs diagnosis.
Kiddo may need a helmet or have a tumor induced by the carcinogen mom was taking during pregnancy.
The shape of that baby's head is worrisome. But "mom" seems much more interested in her pseudo-penis than she is about that infant's welfare.
For real. So self-involved she doesn't understand that if you leave a baby on its back all day every day you will deform their skull.
Omg is she for real? Narcissist does not even cover her navel gazing. Where are cps she is so totally unfit to be a mother, that poor baby is going to bear the scars of her stupidity for the rest of her life. I think she should be in jail for child abuse. Also, silver lining, the state will pay for her totally unacceptable and unnecessary cosmetic surgeries, thanks so much taxpayers of America. BTW small hands, narrow shoulders, feminine facial features, surgery won't help that she will always look like a woman
I do believe it's well past time authorities intervened.
Yes I agree
When I was in high school a quarter century ago, a 16 year old couple I sort of knew (the father was my friend’s brother) had an unplanned pregnancy and ended up in a similar situation to this. The young mother had mental illness, had taken a teratogenic medication for a few days at a crucial early stage of the fetus’s development (may have been lithium? or an antipsychotic...it disrupted the formation of the fetus’s spine) and her baby girl was born paralyzed from the waist down (which was better than predicted...at least she could move her arms around torso and breathe on her own), was mentally impaired (what is the current term? at the time they still described her as having moderate retardation), and had trouble swallowing so needed a feeding tube. The young parents split up before their daughter was a year old, then the troubled young mother abandoned her child, who was moved several states away to be raised by her maternal grandmother. The child’s medical care costs taxpayers half a million dollars a year and her life expectancy is normal (~80 years). She’s in her twenties now and has only seen her father twice since she was a toddler. The blessing is that she is a very happy person and is not in physical pain. I met her when she was a baby and she was far more alert and interactive than the infant in these tiktok videos. I looked her up on FB recently and saw her high school graduation pictures: she was all smiles and is now able to stand with a walker.
My hope is that this baby girl ends up placed with more attentive and competent guardians, and that they bring a lawsuit against whichever medical practice employs the doctors who prescribed that testosterone to the baby’s mother. Back before Accutane was banned entirely, women and girls couldn’t get a prescription for it unless they were taking hormonal birth control because of the horrific effects Accutane could have on a developing fetus. Why isn’t there any similar safeguard in place for women of reproductive age taking high dose testosterone? Clearly it presents a problem because hormonal BC may not work, but it could be required to have a copper IUD inserted before testosterone is prescribed. That might actually dissuade girls and women from jumping into this so recklessly. Testosterone alone is not reliable birth control. It is a known teratogen. Someone needs to be held accountable for the medical harm this baby has incurred as a result of the drugs her mother received. Shame on Planned Parenthood for participating in the sham that is “gender affirming” medicine, too. All women should be entitled to safe abortion access but it’s a very bad situation when the abortion providers are also giving teenage girls 21st century thalidomide.
Thanks for sharing. You're right, there is a disturbing lack of connected thinking from either medical providers or patients about the teratogenic effects of the testosterone they are dispensing like fizzy pop.
Point of information, Isotretinoin, the chemical formerly known as Accutane, is still available. Roche no longer markets it as Accutane, but the drug is prescribed in generic form. I am a survivor of Isotretinoin. It has antiandrogenic effects, which for me as a male who was given it aged 14, means I no longer have a sex drive or sexual function; I'm 30 now. I understand that it can also cause catastrophic effects for female sexual function. Another drug which is very popular with young teens on TikTok, because hey, the 'glow up' looks great in five second video clips. Of course, the real damage is below the surface of the skin. If I could be bothered, I'd compile an ethnography like what Exulansic is doing here. But my general motivation is extremely low, because, as I said, no sex drive...
I think there are a lot of similarities with the trans drugs. In both cases the rationale for their use is the medicalisation of ordinary teenage angst.
The hair loss drug finasteride is another one, a cosmetic drug that causes sexual dysfunction. I think of them collectively as the Adobe Photoshop Suite of pharmaceuticals, because they feed off this peculiarly modern dissociative disorder where people are so used to altering the presentation of their online self with, for example, image editing software, that they imagine that altering the appearance of their actual, embodied self must be just as easy and inconsequential.
I am so sorry for what happened to you. I am a woman and nearly went on Accutane myself in my teens but thankfully the BC pills they made me start on first (despite not being sexually active) were so unpleasant (debilitating cramps) that I just opted to go off everything and live with the acne. Later I learned that the young male actor who had a role in A Few Good Men sued for damages because his experience with Accutane caused permanent digestive problems like IBS. I thought his lawsuit is what led to it being banned, but I guess it should be no surprise Big Pharma simply stopped calling it Accutane and kept selling it to young people under a new name. Infuriating and devastating.
Does insurance cover convalescent stays at the St. Zuckerberg Centre for the Terminally Online?
If only Salem’s Lot had stayed an imaginary vampire horror story.
This is really problematic for me. I understand that infants need to be with their mothers. I understand that women should have bodily autonomy. I want that for myself. I feel for this innocent child.
On the other hand, there is no world where this is a fit parent and pretty soon, the repercussions from this manifest and pretty dramatic lack of capacity to care for this infant are going to have consequences that will require a lifetime of care to unwind, if it's possible to cure them at all.
First, and easiest; "your" ID does not belong to you. It doesn't matter how you feel about it. It's there in order for others to be able to identify you. The most important use of ID is for the purpose of identifying your body after an accident. If you're a woman, your body know it. If you are to survive a critical accident, it's important that the medical providers know it too. All the other reasons we use ID, to travel, to vote, to buy liquor, are frills. They are peripheral. They don't matter. If you spend your time gazing at your driver's license for self-validation, you are doing life wrong.
Next: I'm an avid viewer of The Handmaid's Tale and when I see women like this, all I can think is, "maybe Aunt Lydia isn't 100% wrong about life after all." I really do not feel as though it's okay for this woman to be allowed to ruin her daughter's life when her daughter is in no position to object.
Child Protective Services exist for a reason. In my opinion, apprehension is the lesser of two evils in this case.
As for what she's doing to her own body? I'm past caring. I'm glad it's costing her a lot of money because the alternative is for it to cost us a lot of money and I'm not into it. My compassion evaporated quite some time ago.
She's actually anticipating only paying 10k of the 133k bill. She fully expects insurance (you) to pick up the rest. Infants belong with their mothers unless the mother is unfit. She should have supervised visitation but clearly, if you watch the unredacted originals on her tiktok, the infant is completely checked out. And mom is ignoring medical advice that inconveniences her. What's the odds she's been told to follow up on something by the pediatrician and decided it can wait?
Yes, I wrote the comment before I realized she was using insurance to fund her addiction to cosmetic surgery and cross-sex hormones.
If you have a look at Canadian news (the National posts whole newscasts on Youtube) You'll notice there's a lot of talk about the health care system under pressure. There are the usual dire warnings about "an aging population" But the fact is, all trans surgery and attendant health care is covered by every province's health care system. Often they send people to the US for care and pay the costs out of the money the province receives from tax revenues or as a grant from the federal government to cover health care costs.
I would love to be confident that I could "live and let live" without having to consider what's going to happen to health care access in blue states like mine that tend to attract young women seeking these surgeries. But these young women and their male counterparts are already stressing the system. As they age and their physical recklessness begins to bear fruit, it will only get worse.
It seems to be the same in the UK, as far as we know these total idiots get their surgery (including the men in prisons) paid for by the NHS that ALL the tax payers of the UK pay for. This vanity surgery is NOT what the NHS was meant for! I've also read that these men get their hair removal paid for when women who are distressed by PCOS (and probably other conditions that cause) excess hair growth are denied treatment.
No medical system can withstand the burden of hundreds of thousands of frivolous cosmetic surgeries causing countless problems every year. That is where we're headed.
I've been thinking about why otherwise logical corporate executives at health insurance companies would support all this trans nonsense and it's becoming apparent to me that the goal is to sink anything resembling universal health care.
Think about it: if servicing the needs of these people take the NHS and Canada's systems down, then the private insurers can offer a "solution" in the form of a public private partnership that allows people who can afford it to opt out of the public system. It's already happening in Canada. It's the subject of some very heated debate. Disabling socialized medicine in other countries would bolster support for repealing the Affordable Care Act. Doing all of these things will give new life to the for-profit medical players.
It's a huge step toward restoring Republicans in power too. Just let this run rampant and screw the system over and women will stop voting for Democrats. Democrats are already losing women's votes, we all know that. In a Republican government, corporate oligarchs rule. Profits are guaranteed. The rich remain secure. The poor? Well, they don't care about the poor. Keeping the poor quietly in place is always a good thing for the rich.
The infant is completely checked out?! I know attachment disorder can occur in the first 48 HOURS of an infant's life. I tried to foster a severely attachment-disordered teenage girl, and of course once she started getting attached she started acting out -- I felt thankful at first because she was finally acting like a teenager -- and then her ENABLERS (the caseworker, the social workers) whisked her away, letting her escape her school suspension and any consequences. I have little faith in child protective services.
How sad.
Absolutely no insight into her self absorption. Even the few videos about the baby are mainly about what clothes options are easier for mom to maneuver. The down line consequences for these individuals is very frightening to consider. And all of the expense is absorbed by insurance premium payers.
this rings a bell for me. My mother was a narcissist. I can't and won't get into the details of the neglect, the venom, the competitive bullshit and the plain old abuse she leveled at me but it has taken a lifetime to get to some kind of normal baseline.
Anyway, one of her signature traits was a fixation on my clothes and one aspect of that was their ease of care. I remember when I started wearing tights, she got me out of bed to rage at me for "rolling" my tights off instead of just taking them off. Evidently, this made the tights a nuisance to unroll to put into the laundry. To my 6 year of bewilderment and terror, she mimicked me taking the tights off by seductively rolling them down my legs. She accused me of sexy undressing and told me it was making her life hard. I was six. And by the way, when I take off tights or leggings or anything else that sticks to my legs now, they end up rolled. I am just trying to get them off me because I can't stand anything clinging to my skin.
I've always wondered why that memory kept popping up. It seemed so trivial, totally insignificant in comparison to a hundred other things. But now that you mention it as you did, there's another piece in the puzzle that has fallen into place.
This is a narcissistic mother. She will torture this child for life. Child Protective Services is deeply flawed, I agree, but the knowledge that someone is trying to help and the chance that help might be available might be worth it. I grew up knowing no one would help me. And my mother used foster care as a threat. It is a lot to unravel as an adult. I would like to see other children spared that particular burden.
Thank you for sharing that. I actually have similar memories--maybe that’s why those comments struck me.
This kind of abuse flourishes in secrecy. It sounds so trivial, but it is part of a larger pattern. The success of it depends, in part, on victims deciding it's too trivial to mention. We feel shame because it makes us sound petty. It's not possible for a small child to be petty. "Petty" is a very sophisticated social concept. It doesn't enter a child's emotional repertoire until adolescence.
I have a diploma and years of experience working in child development, I should have recognized this much sooner.
Sometimes in secrecy and sometimes in plain sight! In my case, my mom was the martyr and at 6 I was the petty/annoying/( fill in the blank) child who was “loved so much”. As a result of being “loved so much”, mother got angrier than all the other moms because her love was so great!!! And I bought that narrative for over 30 years!!! I feel so stupid!
Give yourself some grace. You were a child. Not stupid, inexperienced.
The baby is just an annoying accessory.
She clearly resents this baby, and then makes sure to hop back onto the 'roid rage meds. Horrifying. And because we live in clown world, she gets to keep the child while the authorities are removing children from non-affirming parents.
I'm unfamiliar with the US social support system, is there some financial benefit to her if she keeps the baby with her? I assume if she REALLY didn't want to care for her there are other people who would be happy to foster/adopt her? That is what would happen in the UK, the baby would be relinquished to social services who would find a foster then an adoptive home. Not a perfect solution by any means but probably better than the one the birth parents could offer.
There are sizable tax breaks for having a child, and I think maybe a larger allotance of food stamps if she is eligible for them? The tax breaks alone are going to be less than the cost of the child. Her decision to keep the child is quite strange to me... How will her daughter not constantly remind her that she is female?
Anyone this narcissistic needs a handy OBJECT to vent upon.
That's the answer. My mother was like this. She clung to me like a barnacle that would not be scraped away. I tried to "go no contact" more times than I can count but ultimately, it was easier to just move away and control access because she would "shake the bushes" and make everyone I knew miserable by nagging them if I ever dared drop regular contact. Eventually I married someone from another country and moved five time zones away. She still hung on. Narcissists love having children, being a mother puts them in a position of real, continuous and unchallenged power.
*****And this is for my shitty sister, who is her apprentice and is actively looking for reasons why I should be cut out of my mother's will. (she's scraping the internet to dox me) I kept the relationship because I had no choice but all children love their mothers. Or at least the love the possibility that their mother might one day be a loving parent. In my opinion, the scapegoated child of a narcissistic mother should get the whole estate because we suffer with this paradox our whole lives. But that's another story.*****
If she and her husband are legally married then SNAP is unlikely. If they make so little as to qualify for that then they already also pay no taxes, only SS/Medicare. If they qualify for SNAP then she also qualifies for WIC. If they're not legally married then she can get all of that plus a bump up the list for section 8 housing, potential cash benefit, SSI if whatever diagnoses qualify her as disabled. If she gets SSI then the child can potentially qualify for a benefit under related programs for having a "disabled" parent.
Regarding the last question, it's kind of you to think she sees this child as a real person.
That poor kid. The mother's delusions and desire for cosmetic changes could cause the baby all kinds of problems throughout her life.
It’s a Christmas miracle! Love just listening to you, ex. I settle down every night and listen to one of your vids while crocheting/knitting :)
When is gender related surgeries and treatment not a topic of one of these TikTok’s. Kinda scary how much they talk about it
I recently put Mr. Spots, my cocker spaniel, in a kennel for ten days while I was on vacation. I can assure you, I was MUCH more concerned about him than she seems to be about her infant daughter. "Well, my mother might take off work, or maybe my husband can do it . . ." WTF.
Right? When my son was about 5 months old, my husband and I went away for a little vacation and left him with my mom. I missed him so much that we wound up coming home days early!
She THREW AWAY her health care pamphlets? SEVEN HOURS of colic? The way she holds her baby is just wrong. I had to stop watching. This woman is not a fit parent.
I think concerns for the baby’s development are valid. You are more knowledgeable than me on this topic so it wouldn’t be fair for me to compare my children’s development to hers but mine hit all their milestones right on time. The only difference is my son started walking at 9 months and my daughter was a little delayed with walking. Both mine tried to hold up their heads as newborns, and she admits that she doesn’t do much tummy time which isn’t good. I did it several times a day every day with mine. I didn’t want my babies with an odd-shaped head first of all. And that baby definitely has an odd shaped head. My son had colic at 3 months but the problem wasn’t so much him, it was me being a new mother and having an over production of breast milk, thinking he wasn’t getting enough (still feeling full after nursing). Another thing I found odd is she said in a video there were a couple times they cut the baby’s fingers while trimming her nails and that the ferret’s nails were easier to trim. I think maybe she is just making things more difficult for herself for attention. I don’t understand why one wouldn’t want to put off an elective procedure for the baby. I visited her Etsy store and she’s very talented, but I agree she needs more steady income, unless her husband can support both her and the baby which seems like he can’t.
Your mention of tummy time reminded me of the woman I saw on TV whose dead baby was put on her tummy after the birth so she could grieve. The baby was alive and that tummy time was just what she needed.
Yes I know what story you’re talking about! I’m due next month with my 3rd baby and if I knew all the things I know now the birth of my first 2 would have been different. One of the things I requested is that I will be able to hold my baby immediately after she is born (given there are no complications of course). During my uncle’s birth they used forceps that damaged his brain and he was diagnosed as mentally retarded. Maybe they used a vacuum on her baby during birth. My son had some bruising on one side of his head because he was stuck in the birth canal for a little longer than he should but it was gone by 3 months, so I’m not sure why that baby’s head would be shaped like that other than not enough tummy time.