Man pretending to be a woman accused me of "catfishing."
I love it when they acknowledge the detransition glow-up
It has been two years since I went off gender affirming menstrual suppression hormones and turned to face the reality that I had been running from for 15 years, out of fear. Putting me into iatrogenic menopause at 23 harmed me mentally and physically in ways that are difficult to discuss. I feel immature, like I'm back in my mid-20s emotionally, and this inspires feelings of shame. So I am trying to be kind to myself and I hope to help other detransitioners feel less alone. My emotional volume is audible again, after years of numbness and going through the motions, and dimensions of experience have resurfaced, diminished by the physical impact of atrophy-inducing gender-affirming care.
This is the unretouched photo:
Even my most dedicated haters notice and acknowledge the effect of 2 years of restored ovarian function on my face. Mr. Emily Dawn here even accused me of catfishing this morning because my appearance has improved so much as my health restored itself - as a multiorgan system began to co-regulate once more. The photo on the right in his post was taken when I was still on the hormones, in 2022. The photo on the left was taken last week, after 2 years of hormonal normalization.
You may recognize this still from my Triggernometry appearance.
No one tells you that when you suppress brain function during development, physical and mental maturation stalls and dysregulates, making it difficult for the transitioner to reason cogently about what they are being told. This makes them a perfect, chemically lobotomized mark. It is natural to default to attempting to go along to get along and please the doctor, and to conceal hormone induced deficits. They know this because they see the hormone induced changes more clearly than the patient.
I am carrying so much grief and fear for the future, for my health, and yet so much gratitude to have awakened from this lie-deology early enough in my life to enjoy what's left of my youthful femininity. I fear I may never grow up in the way I would have, but for gender affirming care, however, l love that my youth is so resurgent that even the TRAs are raging about it.
First. I find your posts informative, entertaining, and always worth a second or third read, so thank you for your hard and worthwhile work. Second. Please take care of yourself. Your work is vital, but you are far more important than the work. Thank you.
I am 73 now and have never felt “beautiful”. I wasn’t a conventionally pretty child - the best thing my mother could say to me was that I was “plain but interesting.” And now I look back at photos of my younger self and think “Dammit, you were effing gorgeous.” You are beautiful. Enjoy your new found female youthfulness.