When Shapeshifter was talking about the anxiety around being in public/being perceived as a woman/trans woman it struck me that many future detransitioners are actually inducing the problem they were originally trying to solve if they reach the point where the do pass. In a way they are the actual "trans" people. Knowing what your sex is but having people around you perceive you as the opposite, causing gender dysphoria.
Yea I think that's an important point. There's "trans people" the people who believe their gender identity doesn't match their sex, and then there's "trans people" the group of people who appear visibly to not the sex they are or who are visibly post-transition, regardless of beliefs.
The Affirmation model is set up to benefit the medical-industrial complex and insurance companies, NOT the folks who are seeking help from their confusing and complicated distress. It is so sad to realize that irreversible medical and surgical procedures could have /should have been avoided with appropriate reality-based exploration and actual care.. Changing society to encourage diversity would have been better than changing individuals to fit into some imagined conformity.... This interview is a great service to people wondering how to move through these kinds of situations. Thank you both for sharing.
this conversation was so interesting, thank you both!
the apologies exchanged at the beginning were touching. there’s a lot of pain to undo on both sides of this movement. ultimately we want what is best for one another, and these are not the reversible, life saving procedures we are being sold.
speaking out to help others take further consideration before making life-altering decisions shouldn’t be a scary thing to do. keep up the great work, you have so more support than you know!
“I don’t think anything can truly dumb you down. It might affect your cognition, your attention, and maybe your memory, but I don’t think anything can “dumb” you down . . . the thing about intelligence is the more connections you form the more connections you’re able to form. So the more you learn the more you can learn so high intelligence is very isolating for that reason because the gap does keep widening between you and most people as you age until you get to the point where you’re so old that things are shrinking again.”
even then, if it's intelligence, you're still not dumb. You just forget faster than you learn. And eventually your cognition is so impaired you cannot function. But if it's intelligence it's there for life.
i am grateful to have learned from you. you are among my favorite teachers ive had in life and there’s nothing that has given my life purpose and direction more than learning and thinking, and i have and will risk anything for it, it seems. the interview was quite depressing. i am satisfied to see the compassion and forgiveness highlighted in the video. i related to so much, particularly i struggle so much with how people perceive and relate to you socially and the disconnect that shape shifter describes - mine is massive, too, for such an outgoing, extroverted person that i am. it makes it feel impossible for me to get over the loss of true connections and relationships, in which i did feel truly connected to a person and these losses bring me back to losing my father, there was no one more similar to me on this earth. the pain is excruciating and raw and it feels like navigating through the world without those beloved people is life with a scalded skin. i got very angry at shape shifter’s comment about detrans women having it easier, but i suppose it’s one of the fixations of this sort of thought process that i share - i constantly lament about men and how much easier it must be to be a man. the feeling isn’t constant and i don’t focus on it. but i never wanted to live like this, is what i think. i detest the pressure to beautify myself for men and for society (my mom and sisters push so hard too, but they just want things to be easier for me), but the pain of being constantly rejected for the woman i am, just as i am - it’s the reverse of “how am i not myself?” - jude law, the punishment for my insistence on “being myself” and expressing my self in unconventional ways, especially in ways not typical for many women, is so painful and the costs are so great. i feel entirely stuck and trapped. and it makes me so enraged when men claim to have it worse than me because it is such a suffocating cage i have, to watch other women suffer and feel so much anger at them for the negative relationships we have with each other, and to feel so strongly that i deserved so much more and that i am prevented from assuming my “potential”
i thought going for an elite edu would finally give me reprieve from that isolation, i would find “intellectuals”, i would find my contemporaries, the illusive writing communities ive pined over, read over, ruminated on. i feel like a strange alien watching other people. i wish id stayed in a “not as healthy” relationship and friendships because the isolation and rejection of my friends has been catastrophic and horrifically isolating. im so angry at my feminist ideals and the advice out there because i cannot cope without my social bonds and i no longer believe it preferable to leave “toxic” people to be alone. it makes my existence entirely purposeless and dejected
So sorry about your father. I know that's very recent and I can only imagine your pain especially knowing a little about the profound impact it's had on you since then. The comment that female detransitioners have it easier didn't sit right with me either. But like the detransitioner experience is so varied I imagine it's difficult to generalize . Shape shifter definitely has it harder than me as far as detransition goes. But between him and KC Miller, I don't know who has it worse. Having met her in person, in addition to being awesome and exactly the person she presents herself as online, KC Miller is quite petite. I think people overestimate her passingness based on videos.
Shapeshifter’s honesty and vulnerability has made me love him! Me who has said that I detest “trans men” and have no compassion for them! Well, I’m officially shocked AGAIN but for once in a good way! This conversation was so wonderful and inspiring because I personally don’t know many people ( not any really) who can publicly apologize so sincerely! And, as always you Exulansic handled it all with grace and kindness ❤️
Definitely. I also found it very touching when he was congratulating Exulansic for the work she has done and telling her how much her audience loves her. For someone who has been through such horrors to have such kind and encouraging things to say... And yes, Exulansic, it's true we love you!
Chilling, because he comes across as quite clearsighted and rational, to hear him mention that he is thinking about euthanasia. One wonders how many detransitioners will make it out alive.
Similar to your interview with Robynne Merguerdjan, I came away with the impression of a highly intelligent, interesting and likeable person. It's so sad that these are the ones being led into the gender abattoir.
Your (Exulansic's) outfits are so very colorful. I envy your sense of style myself having picked a style in the mid 90s and not changed much except adding some dresses. Your gorgeous scarves and shirts don't look like cotton tho and I am prone to itching especially with new unwashed or dry cleaned clothes. Are those beautiful shirts and scarves machine washable? You were even fashionable as a coĺlege student but it's even better now.
While I feel badly for what happened to him and having to now navigate the aftermath, I don't believe that nobody objected to this. Vocal objectors are cutoff, and the rest of the objectors stay silent because of the actions taken on the vocal objector. His actions didn't just affect him. There was a large blast area of collateral damage. The ultimate fault lies with the medical profession for abandoning any sort of ethics and providing this mutilating surgery. The societal safety net has been dismantled. I hope he is able to find peace.
We cannot trust doctors anymore. I was always suspect, having grown up with physicians and those who would become physicians. I never just automatically trusted them because I knew them in real life, and many were idiots, lacking in the most basic common sense.
But now they are under gag orders re Ivermectin, HCQ, shots, etc, they've been threatened if they treat illness. I've seen the threat letters.
When Shapeshifter was talking about the anxiety around being in public/being perceived as a woman/trans woman it struck me that many future detransitioners are actually inducing the problem they were originally trying to solve if they reach the point where the do pass. In a way they are the actual "trans" people. Knowing what your sex is but having people around you perceive you as the opposite, causing gender dysphoria.
Yea I think that's an important point. There's "trans people" the people who believe their gender identity doesn't match their sex, and then there's "trans people" the group of people who appear visibly to not the sex they are or who are visibly post-transition, regardless of beliefs.
The Affirmation model is set up to benefit the medical-industrial complex and insurance companies, NOT the folks who are seeking help from their confusing and complicated distress. It is so sad to realize that irreversible medical and surgical procedures could have /should have been avoided with appropriate reality-based exploration and actual care.. Changing society to encourage diversity would have been better than changing individuals to fit into some imagined conformity.... This interview is a great service to people wondering how to move through these kinds of situations. Thank you both for sharing.
Thank you, Exulansic and thank you, Shapeshifter.
this conversation was so interesting, thank you both!
the apologies exchanged at the beginning were touching. there’s a lot of pain to undo on both sides of this movement. ultimately we want what is best for one another, and these are not the reversible, life saving procedures we are being sold.
speaking out to help others take further consideration before making life-altering decisions shouldn’t be a scary thing to do. keep up the great work, you have so more support than you know!
I do really love you, Exulansic. I hope one day we get to hang out.
I share this sentiment if ever again I go to her city I will try to invite her to lunch but understand if she's too busy or creeped out by net person.
Don't give up Shapeshifter your honesty bravery and compassion are shining right now.You can be so proud to be you
“I don’t think anything can truly dumb you down. It might affect your cognition, your attention, and maybe your memory, but I don’t think anything can “dumb” you down . . . the thing about intelligence is the more connections you form the more connections you’re able to form. So the more you learn the more you can learn so high intelligence is very isolating for that reason because the gap does keep widening between you and most people as you age until you get to the point where you’re so old that things are shrinking again.”
even then, if it's intelligence, you're still not dumb. You just forget faster than you learn. And eventually your cognition is so impaired you cannot function. But if it's intelligence it's there for life.
i am grateful to have learned from you. you are among my favorite teachers ive had in life and there’s nothing that has given my life purpose and direction more than learning and thinking, and i have and will risk anything for it, it seems. the interview was quite depressing. i am satisfied to see the compassion and forgiveness highlighted in the video. i related to so much, particularly i struggle so much with how people perceive and relate to you socially and the disconnect that shape shifter describes - mine is massive, too, for such an outgoing, extroverted person that i am. it makes it feel impossible for me to get over the loss of true connections and relationships, in which i did feel truly connected to a person and these losses bring me back to losing my father, there was no one more similar to me on this earth. the pain is excruciating and raw and it feels like navigating through the world without those beloved people is life with a scalded skin. i got very angry at shape shifter’s comment about detrans women having it easier, but i suppose it’s one of the fixations of this sort of thought process that i share - i constantly lament about men and how much easier it must be to be a man. the feeling isn’t constant and i don’t focus on it. but i never wanted to live like this, is what i think. i detest the pressure to beautify myself for men and for society (my mom and sisters push so hard too, but they just want things to be easier for me), but the pain of being constantly rejected for the woman i am, just as i am - it’s the reverse of “how am i not myself?” - jude law, the punishment for my insistence on “being myself” and expressing my self in unconventional ways, especially in ways not typical for many women, is so painful and the costs are so great. i feel entirely stuck and trapped. and it makes me so enraged when men claim to have it worse than me because it is such a suffocating cage i have, to watch other women suffer and feel so much anger at them for the negative relationships we have with each other, and to feel so strongly that i deserved so much more and that i am prevented from assuming my “potential”
i thought going for an elite edu would finally give me reprieve from that isolation, i would find “intellectuals”, i would find my contemporaries, the illusive writing communities ive pined over, read over, ruminated on. i feel like a strange alien watching other people. i wish id stayed in a “not as healthy” relationship and friendships because the isolation and rejection of my friends has been catastrophic and horrifically isolating. im so angry at my feminist ideals and the advice out there because i cannot cope without my social bonds and i no longer believe it preferable to leave “toxic” people to be alone. it makes my existence entirely purposeless and dejected
elusive
So sorry about your father. I know that's very recent and I can only imagine your pain especially knowing a little about the profound impact it's had on you since then. The comment that female detransitioners have it easier didn't sit right with me either. But like the detransitioner experience is so varied I imagine it's difficult to generalize . Shape shifter definitely has it harder than me as far as detransition goes. But between him and KC Miller, I don't know who has it worse. Having met her in person, in addition to being awesome and exactly the person she presents herself as online, KC Miller is quite petite. I think people overestimate her passingness based on videos.
Could you call your new channel The Ex Files? Prob already taken.
Start a fan page and call it The Ex Philes
damn, to go from getting your channel shut down to sitting down with an interview with you. Your compassion saves lives from trans ideology
Shapeshifter’s honesty and vulnerability has made me love him! Me who has said that I detest “trans men” and have no compassion for them! Well, I’m officially shocked AGAIN but for once in a good way! This conversation was so wonderful and inspiring because I personally don’t know many people ( not any really) who can publicly apologize so sincerely! And, as always you Exulansic handled it all with grace and kindness ❤️
Definitely. I also found it very touching when he was congratulating Exulansic for the work she has done and telling her how much her audience loves her. For someone who has been through such horrors to have such kind and encouraging things to say... And yes, Exulansic, it's true we love you!
I just reread my comment- I meant “trans women “= MEN - not “trans men “! Now that I’ve straightened out this bullshit!!!🥵🥵😂
Chilling, because he comes across as quite clearsighted and rational, to hear him mention that he is thinking about euthanasia. One wonders how many detransitioners will make it out alive.
Similar to your interview with Robynne Merguerdjan, I came away with the impression of a highly intelligent, interesting and likeable person. It's so sad that these are the ones being led into the gender abattoir.
Your (Exulansic's) outfits are so very colorful. I envy your sense of style myself having picked a style in the mid 90s and not changed much except adding some dresses. Your gorgeous scarves and shirts don't look like cotton tho and I am prone to itching especially with new unwashed or dry cleaned clothes. Are those beautiful shirts and scarves machine washable? You were even fashionable as a coĺlege student but it's even better now.
Some are some aren't. As Mitch Hedberg said, this outfit is dry clean only, which means it's dirty.
Wow, it was actually your video that helped convince him. That's awesome.
Shape seems like such a lovely person.
While I feel badly for what happened to him and having to now navigate the aftermath, I don't believe that nobody objected to this. Vocal objectors are cutoff, and the rest of the objectors stay silent because of the actions taken on the vocal objector. His actions didn't just affect him. There was a large blast area of collateral damage. The ultimate fault lies with the medical profession for abandoning any sort of ethics and providing this mutilating surgery. The societal safety net has been dismantled. I hope he is able to find peace.
We cannot trust doctors anymore. I was always suspect, having grown up with physicians and those who would become physicians. I never just automatically trusted them because I knew them in real life, and many were idiots, lacking in the most basic common sense.
But now they are under gag orders re Ivermectin, HCQ, shots, etc, they've been threatened if they treat illness. I've seen the threat letters.
And they are going along with this obvious BS.
Do not trust doctors.
Absolutely. The medical school application process is broken on top of the rest of this mess.