Ill Duchess Update

MAiD has been DENIED.

Content warning for suicide.

If you are experiencing thoughts of ending your life, I truly do encourage you to recognize the thoughts as a probable symptom of an illness, no different from a muscle spasm, fever, or vomiting, and to seek appropriate care at an appropriate intensity to manage the symptom until it resolves or reduces to a tolerable level. If someone you love is sharing this symptom with you instead of with their mental health team, especially if they are not recognizing it as the symptom it is, and are instead attributing it to you and other situational factors, please consider that this may be an inappropriate thing to do and further, that it is normal to have a range of grief reactions to hearing such traumatic news.

I have written a few times about the Ill Duchess situation (@duchess_elle on twitter, aka Lois Cardinal according to this article). To recap, this individual is a man who identifies as a trans woman and has undergone vaginoplasty and presumably other interventions. He announced in early 2023 that he was seeking Medical Assistance in Dying (MAiD), AKA assisted suicide, due to the chronic pain and dilation needs created by the vaginoplasty. After making this announcement, Lois began to tweet at various car manufacturers attempting to get a free car.

He also went on Benjamin Boyce’s channel and had, in my opinion, a bit of an elevated and situationally inappropriate energy about him as his good friend, gender critical activist and writer Eva Kurilova, had a predictable emotional reaction to the news that her loved one was planning to intentionally end his life. He seemed unmoved by her emotions, perhaps due to the emotional elevation he was apparently experiencing. I find it very reassuring that the MAiD assessor saw through this situation and did not enable him to complete another ill-considered “transition” looking for a quick fix to his emotional pain. I hope that this will finally redirect him towards the intensive, long-term help he may have needed for some time.

Based on this documentation, it would appear that his disqualification may have hinged on the determination that he was not in an “advanced state of irreversible decline in capacity.” This person assessing Lois recognized that although Lois, being a suicidal person, may have given up hope, that does not mean that objectively, this condition is advanced, serious, or irreversible to the extent that MAiD is an appropriate intervention. While the voluntary amputation that Lois obtained may be a source of chronic pain and infection, these were apparently considered by the MAiD assessor to be relatively minor and able to be managed effectively through other interventions. At this time, mental illness alone is not permitted to be the sole basis for obtaining MAiD in Canada.

Peers and family members are not responsible for a loved one’s decision to self-harm or end their life. Some people can and do use discussing their suicidal ideation (which they may genuinely be experiencing), as a manipulation tool, as a means of obtaining preferred items, such as cars, attention, and control of intimate partners. It is okay to recognize that a person’s symptomatology is above your capacity, training, expertise, or availability to manage effectively, and to set boundaries with a person making such gestures, referring them to appropriate sources of help or asking to change the topic. If they are unwilling to change the topic, the conversation becomes non-consensual, and it is acceptable at that point to end the conversation. I know this is difficult as it is natural to fear that one wrong move will cause the death of a loved one, and that is a lot of pressure for anyone. Everyone has a right to be able to pause or end difficult conversations with people behaving inappropriately. Someone else’s choices are not in your control, and more than likely, you are not in a position to treat such an illness - especially not when the person is your friend or family member.