What an incredibly brave young woman! Thank you for sharing this interview. I plan to show it to my lesbian teen, who is right in the middle of this storm with her friend group.
You are a good person Ex and I’m happy that I found your channel a few months ago. Thank you for the work that you do and for transforming your pain into helping others
Thank you for sharing your story!! I feel so much empathy and compassion for you. I wanted to slash my face up with a razor blade when I was 12, because grown men had started leering at me. It was so creepy and I just wanted to be left alone.
I'm so grateful the medical community was not there to assist me. These doctors and therapists are criminals. They are evil.
In my lifetime I have watched the radical mastectomy move from "a necessary horror" to "lumpectomy/save the breast" to "this is too psychologically damaging, insurance must pay for implants right away" .... and now we're back to "a necessary horror" These doctors need to be locked up.
I couldn't help but notice the trans ideas first came from a TV for you. Most people don't know that TVs were designed as weapons. You can look up the first patents, the device was meant to irritate the skin & nervous system. We don't have a TV in the house. When I learned physics & electrical engineering it became obvious that TVs are receivers and transmitters. We instantly disposed of our devices. They can do so many things. They program us. The CA govt gave out free vouchers for HDTVs to the poor when they switched from analog to HDTV. How kind of them. I'm sure they just wanted everyone to be amused and entertained.
Within 10 minutes of sitting in front of a TV screen we are in a state of light hypnosis. All of that programming goes straight in.
Please keep sharing your story.
I regret my abortion. It was a degrading and disgusting "medical service." It was promoted as something positive and helpful. What a lie.
I think it's important to talk about these painful topics because we save others when we share our honest experience, and we heal along the way.
Both the positive and negative impact of abortion and continuing the pregnancy are minimized and unacknowledged because acknowledging them requires empathizing with women and recognizing that women's concerns are not trivial or impolite to talk about.
Your mention of the complications of continuing a pregnancy brought a flash back:
I had attended the delivery of a relative's first birthing experience. We all were exhausted, up all night. The young, female OB/GYN had been dutifully massaging oil into the perineum to assist a natural birth. The baby eventually EXPLODED out, tearing one side of the labia pretty badly.
The Dr's hands trembled as she sutured up my beloved relative.
I was working at a busy urgent care at the time, and assisting with surgery was something I did. I had never seen a doc tremble like this. I put on my best supportive surgical assistant vibe, in an effort to help calm the doc and ultimately help my loved one. It didn't work.
Suturing torn flesh is like sewing ripped clothes- you have to match up the edges. The doc did not do that, and so a piece of labia just hung out, unattached.
I had seen women have this kind of rip fixed, and it was expensive because it was considered elective/cosmetic. Worse, sexual intercourse was very painful because that bit of flesh would get torn with each movement. Think about that- a woman putting up with that kind of pain until she could afford to get it fixed!
And knowing that a female doc had done that to someone I love has been awful.
And you're right, this isn't the kind of thing we talk about because it isn't polite.
Yet another sad story ,just one among thousands. Hope sincerely she will be ok. As for these " doctors " ,I really don't know how they can live with themselves. These mutilating surgeries should be illegal ,even for adults. In a sane society ,that would be the case. Well done to you for highlighting these tragic cases even after being banned from YouTube. They have a sin to answer here as well ,as do so many others. Keep it up 🙏♥️👍
Keep sharing, Raven, your story is so important. Your pain comes through your voice and I’m sure many people feel it with you. You’re not alone. Thank you so much for your honesty and vulnerability. Exulansic you hold that space beautifully. Looking forward to more conversations. 💕
Thanks Exulansic for another great interview! Raven you are so brave! I hope to see more of you. Your story like so many detransitioners need to be heard. You are a lovely young woman, I hope you come to accept yourself and move on. We all have things we would like to change about ourselves. Some you can and some you can''t or shouldn't. Number one is your health. As you get older(me, 54) you realize you need to be thankful for what good health you have and preserve it. Please be well and continue speaking out!
Wow it was amazing to see how calm and caring you were towards this individual. To me they seemed very traumatized and I feel horrible for them. I found it really interesting that you sort of said it how it is, that they were never going to get this sensation back. I sort of hear a lot of people respond to situations like these with statements like “it’ll get better with time” and “you’ll be okay.” Your upfront and firm response about its severity, but still calm and caring enough to reassure the individual that they will be okay, was beautiful and almost therapeutic to watch.
I’m going to try the cream you mentioned. I have chronic pain in my face and jaw ever since my jaw locked a year ago. It’s uncomfortable and hurts, sometimes burns, and feels like pressure. Felt like there was nothing I could do but take painkillers. I’m decently sure I have nerve damage after a cavity filling that caused this, since I’ve been examined multiple times and there is nothing physically wrong with me. Yet the pain persists. Thanks for informing me about this alternative way to manage pain! I’ve tried peppermint oil before and it seemed to help. At the very least the sensation is distracting enough to help you not focus on the pain.
Thank you. Re: capsaicin, I suggest a small patch test somewhere that does not hurt, so you know what to expect. It'll feel worse (like it's burned, but remember it's just spicy) the first times you use it because being in pain sensitizes you to pain. The first time I used it, I put it all over my shoulders, and I was not prepared for that level of spiciness. The theory is this helps to recalibrate your ability to perceive pain so that you are in less pain. There's a lot of support for it on pubmed if you are interested in reading more about the evidence basis.
Oh, idk, I didn’t really think about it or even realize I did that until you pointed it out. I guess I usually call people they on impulse- seems more polite & neutral. I am from a background where this ideology is very prevalent and I use they to protect myself from being attacked. I will use they in place of preferred gendered pronouns if I don’t agree, for example, if interacting with a trans woman. However in this case it was most likely subconscious conditioning over the years of using that habit.
Don’t really want to argue with you, since we clearly have the same views in this regard?But as I explained I used neutral pronouns due to years of conditioning and not wanting to be singled out by my peers. I know many other people who feel this way, especially people who grew up in this environment. It can be traumatizing. So, I apologize, I didn’t mean to offend, and I certainly don’t think I am homophobic. It’s weird, we’re in a community, we’re on the same page. I don’t see why you have to be so aggressive :(
But that is the point, isn’t it? The fact that so many people in your circle are willing to go along with this is a great indicator of what we, humans, could agree on to avoid being singled out or attacked and how our brains would always offer us a feel-good justification of that as a defense mechanism. And we wouldn’t even be aware of that in most cases. And then there is the false consensus effect.
Yes I agree. It’s wild how far we will go to avoid being singled out, even going as far to say things we know aren’t true. I bet there’s plenty of people in my circle who agree with people like you and me, but fear keeps us from connecting with one another. This is something hardwired in us, I think. That’s why I have endless respect for those who are able to break out of that prison and be open about their thoughts even at the risk of rejection, people like exculansic herself. Like Raven herself. And it’s intense rejection, at a level the human brain isn’t capable of comprehending. Cancel culture is a disease. I bet people like exculansic get harassed on a daily basis for the work she does. That’s just the reality of today. Are you open about your stance irl?
Thank you so much Raven. This is the very definition of bravery. I hope you get the support you need, maybe there are groups of other detransitioners you could join? There is always hope, you are a lovely person with so much to offer, just hang onto that. And thank you Exulansic. x
Nice to hear from you Raven. Ex, I thought your comment about moods being controlled by a testosterone cycle and not one's environment/peers in her experience was incredibly insightful. For Raven if you read this, when you said you blamed yourself for lying to the doctors about doing well... I've also lied to doctors in situations where their treatment for my mental health made me worse. I think I thought, well if I tell them the truth, what other awful treatment that could be even worse will they give me? Maybe it's just best to cope with the problems I already have. I'm working on forgiving myself for not seeing that there were alternatives, and getting to live the best life I can. I hope you also have a more positive journey going forward.
I keep watching your videos! You are such a compassionate interviewer, Exulansic 💖
How is Rachel doing since the interview?
Is there anyway that those of us who wish to can support detransitioners? I imagine they feel terribly betrayed by a society which has gone along with them being medically & surgically harmed. Detransitioners must wonder what's wrong with all of us.
For my part, what I am doing now is pushing back on social media.
I've been permanently canceled on Twitter for WrongThink.
Transwomen are NOT real women.
Transmen are NOT real men.
I don't care if people call me names.
I've been developing a thick skin since I was 6 years old and my father died.
I got teased for having a dead father.
Getting called "transphobic" is nothing, LOL!! Why yes, I am afraid of a mentally ill man dressed up as a woman, who is in the locker room next to me.
I saw Silence of the Lambs.
What can I do to be more supportive of detransitioners?
I'm so angry that people are so damn weak that they cheer while vulnerable people are hurt for profit.
I just found your Substack after seeing (months back) that you were deleted off Youtube. Great to see you here.
I hope Raven is okay and moving forward with her life. Every detrans story is astonishing. I hope she can find and keep her strength! These young people were caught in a web meant to trap them. God bless them.
Wow. That was so sad, the pain and self-doubt Raven suffers from were almost palpable. Exulansic, I think you did a wonderful job, your compassion shone.
What an incredibly brave young woman! Thank you for sharing this interview. I plan to show it to my lesbian teen, who is right in the middle of this storm with her friend group.
You are a good person Ex and I’m happy that I found your channel a few months ago. Thank you for the work that you do and for transforming your pain into helping others
Thank you for validating Ravens pain, burning/discomfort/etc is obviously pain. This was a very healing conversation.
Thank you for sharing your story!! I feel so much empathy and compassion for you. I wanted to slash my face up with a razor blade when I was 12, because grown men had started leering at me. It was so creepy and I just wanted to be left alone.
I'm so grateful the medical community was not there to assist me. These doctors and therapists are criminals. They are evil.
In my lifetime I have watched the radical mastectomy move from "a necessary horror" to "lumpectomy/save the breast" to "this is too psychologically damaging, insurance must pay for implants right away" .... and now we're back to "a necessary horror" These doctors need to be locked up.
I couldn't help but notice the trans ideas first came from a TV for you. Most people don't know that TVs were designed as weapons. You can look up the first patents, the device was meant to irritate the skin & nervous system. We don't have a TV in the house. When I learned physics & electrical engineering it became obvious that TVs are receivers and transmitters. We instantly disposed of our devices. They can do so many things. They program us. The CA govt gave out free vouchers for HDTVs to the poor when they switched from analog to HDTV. How kind of them. I'm sure they just wanted everyone to be amused and entertained.
Within 10 minutes of sitting in front of a TV screen we are in a state of light hypnosis. All of that programming goes straight in.
Please keep sharing your story.
I regret my abortion. It was a degrading and disgusting "medical service." It was promoted as something positive and helpful. What a lie.
I think it's important to talk about these painful topics because we save others when we share our honest experience, and we heal along the way.
Thank you for your honesty and your courage 🙏💖
Both the positive and negative impact of abortion and continuing the pregnancy are minimized and unacknowledged because acknowledging them requires empathizing with women and recognizing that women's concerns are not trivial or impolite to talk about.
Your mention of the complications of continuing a pregnancy brought a flash back:
I had attended the delivery of a relative's first birthing experience. We all were exhausted, up all night. The young, female OB/GYN had been dutifully massaging oil into the perineum to assist a natural birth. The baby eventually EXPLODED out, tearing one side of the labia pretty badly.
The Dr's hands trembled as she sutured up my beloved relative.
I was working at a busy urgent care at the time, and assisting with surgery was something I did. I had never seen a doc tremble like this. I put on my best supportive surgical assistant vibe, in an effort to help calm the doc and ultimately help my loved one. It didn't work.
Suturing torn flesh is like sewing ripped clothes- you have to match up the edges. The doc did not do that, and so a piece of labia just hung out, unattached.
I had seen women have this kind of rip fixed, and it was expensive because it was considered elective/cosmetic. Worse, sexual intercourse was very painful because that bit of flesh would get torn with each movement. Think about that- a woman putting up with that kind of pain until she could afford to get it fixed!
And knowing that a female doc had done that to someone I love has been awful.
And you're right, this isn't the kind of thing we talk about because it isn't polite.
This needs to change.
Yet another sad story ,just one among thousands. Hope sincerely she will be ok. As for these " doctors " ,I really don't know how they can live with themselves. These mutilating surgeries should be illegal ,even for adults. In a sane society ,that would be the case. Well done to you for highlighting these tragic cases even after being banned from YouTube. They have a sin to answer here as well ,as do so many others. Keep it up 🙏♥️👍
Substack still won't let me " like " !! Don't know why ? 🤔😢
Keep sharing, Raven, your story is so important. Your pain comes through your voice and I’m sure many people feel it with you. You’re not alone. Thank you so much for your honesty and vulnerability. Exulansic you hold that space beautifully. Looking forward to more conversations. 💕
Thanks Exulansic for another great interview! Raven you are so brave! I hope to see more of you. Your story like so many detransitioners need to be heard. You are a lovely young woman, I hope you come to accept yourself and move on. We all have things we would like to change about ourselves. Some you can and some you can''t or shouldn't. Number one is your health. As you get older(me, 54) you realize you need to be thankful for what good health you have and preserve it. Please be well and continue speaking out!
Wow it was amazing to see how calm and caring you were towards this individual. To me they seemed very traumatized and I feel horrible for them. I found it really interesting that you sort of said it how it is, that they were never going to get this sensation back. I sort of hear a lot of people respond to situations like these with statements like “it’ll get better with time” and “you’ll be okay.” Your upfront and firm response about its severity, but still calm and caring enough to reassure the individual that they will be okay, was beautiful and almost therapeutic to watch.
I’m going to try the cream you mentioned. I have chronic pain in my face and jaw ever since my jaw locked a year ago. It’s uncomfortable and hurts, sometimes burns, and feels like pressure. Felt like there was nothing I could do but take painkillers. I’m decently sure I have nerve damage after a cavity filling that caused this, since I’ve been examined multiple times and there is nothing physically wrong with me. Yet the pain persists. Thanks for informing me about this alternative way to manage pain! I’ve tried peppermint oil before and it seemed to help. At the very least the sensation is distracting enough to help you not focus on the pain.
Thank you. Re: capsaicin, I suggest a small patch test somewhere that does not hurt, so you know what to expect. It'll feel worse (like it's burned, but remember it's just spicy) the first times you use it because being in pain sensitizes you to pain. The first time I used it, I put it all over my shoulders, and I was not prepared for that level of spiciness. The theory is this helps to recalibrate your ability to perceive pain so that you are in less pain. There's a lot of support for it on pubmed if you are interested in reading more about the evidence basis.
I’ll definitely check out the research on pubmed. Thanks Exulansic for all you do to inform!
Why do you call this woman “they”?
Oh, idk, I didn’t really think about it or even realize I did that until you pointed it out. I guess I usually call people they on impulse- seems more polite & neutral. I am from a background where this ideology is very prevalent and I use they to protect myself from being attacked. I will use they in place of preferred gendered pronouns if I don’t agree, for example, if interacting with a trans woman. However in this case it was most likely subconscious conditioning over the years of using that habit.
I noticed that “they” also, and figured something like that was going on. Thanks for your explanation!
Thank you for being kind and understanding. I’m sorry for using it wrong.
1990s Calling a masculine-leaning lesbian “they” or “he” = homophobic as f*ck
2020s Calling a masculine-leaning lesbian “they” or “he” = “neutral & polite”
Progress…
Don’t really want to argue with you, since we clearly have the same views in this regard?But as I explained I used neutral pronouns due to years of conditioning and not wanting to be singled out by my peers. I know many other people who feel this way, especially people who grew up in this environment. It can be traumatizing. So, I apologize, I didn’t mean to offend, and I certainly don’t think I am homophobic. It’s weird, we’re in a community, we’re on the same page. I don’t see why you have to be so aggressive :(
But that is the point, isn’t it? The fact that so many people in your circle are willing to go along with this is a great indicator of what we, humans, could agree on to avoid being singled out or attacked and how our brains would always offer us a feel-good justification of that as a defense mechanism. And we wouldn’t even be aware of that in most cases. And then there is the false consensus effect.
Yes I agree. It’s wild how far we will go to avoid being singled out, even going as far to say things we know aren’t true. I bet there’s plenty of people in my circle who agree with people like you and me, but fear keeps us from connecting with one another. This is something hardwired in us, I think. That’s why I have endless respect for those who are able to break out of that prison and be open about their thoughts even at the risk of rejection, people like exculansic herself. Like Raven herself. And it’s intense rejection, at a level the human brain isn’t capable of comprehending. Cancel culture is a disease. I bet people like exculansic get harassed on a daily basis for the work she does. That’s just the reality of today. Are you open about your stance irl?
Great interview!
Thank you so much Raven. This is the very definition of bravery. I hope you get the support you need, maybe there are groups of other detransitioners you could join? There is always hope, you are a lovely person with so much to offer, just hang onto that. And thank you Exulansic. x
Nice to hear from you Raven. Ex, I thought your comment about moods being controlled by a testosterone cycle and not one's environment/peers in her experience was incredibly insightful. For Raven if you read this, when you said you blamed yourself for lying to the doctors about doing well... I've also lied to doctors in situations where their treatment for my mental health made me worse. I think I thought, well if I tell them the truth, what other awful treatment that could be even worse will they give me? Maybe it's just best to cope with the problems I already have. I'm working on forgiving myself for not seeing that there were alternatives, and getting to live the best life I can. I hope you also have a more positive journey going forward.
I keep watching your videos! You are such a compassionate interviewer, Exulansic 💖
How is Rachel doing since the interview?
Is there anyway that those of us who wish to can support detransitioners? I imagine they feel terribly betrayed by a society which has gone along with them being medically & surgically harmed. Detransitioners must wonder what's wrong with all of us.
For my part, what I am doing now is pushing back on social media.
I've been permanently canceled on Twitter for WrongThink.
Transwomen are NOT real women.
Transmen are NOT real men.
I don't care if people call me names.
I've been developing a thick skin since I was 6 years old and my father died.
I got teased for having a dead father.
Getting called "transphobic" is nothing, LOL!! Why yes, I am afraid of a mentally ill man dressed up as a woman, who is in the locker room next to me.
I saw Silence of the Lambs.
What can I do to be more supportive of detransitioners?
I'm so angry that people are so damn weak that they cheer while vulnerable people are hurt for profit.
I just found your Substack after seeing (months back) that you were deleted off Youtube. Great to see you here.
I hope Raven is okay and moving forward with her life. Every detrans story is astonishing. I hope she can find and keep her strength! These young people were caught in a web meant to trap them. God bless them.
Heartbreaking, but what a lovely young woman. Thank you for giving her the space to tell her story.
Wow. That was so sad, the pain and self-doubt Raven suffers from were almost palpable. Exulansic, I think you did a wonderful job, your compassion shone.