A Tale of Two Trans Porn Stars: Apollo Moon Update

X user Frankiestopit claims to have been a porn colleague and friend of Forest Harader's family. She describes what she claims was Forest's manner and cause of death.

“There but for the grace of God, go I.” - Origin uncertain

There is still no official cause of death for Apollo Moon. According to Frankiestopit on X, who claims to have been a close friend of Apollo and her family, as she explained in this post and reiterated again in a recorded thepeacepoet99 space last night, Apollo aka Forest ended her life by intentionally crashing her car.

Frankie, another transitioner who identifies as having autoandrophilia, claims she also attempted to end her life in the same manner 2 years ago. She survived and was able to escape the porn industry. She still identifies as trans and anti-terf, even though her transition did not cure her dysphoria or prevent her suicide attempt or her friend’s completed suicide.

Frankie is reliant on her testosterone use to feel comfortable. Testosterone is a schedule III controlled substance that's considered psychologically and physically addictive. It is not approved for any use for women, let alone the treatment of suicidal ideation.

Frankie says she began testosterone following a suicide attempt 4 years ago. The testosterone seems to have not prevented her other attempt 2 years ago.

Some people will disagree with me when I say paraphilic disorders can exist in women and be just as dangerous to the individual and others as their male counterparts. Frankie is an example of a woman whose life has been all but consumed by pursuit of this image of herself as a man, or what she and I would identify as autoandrophilia. Rather than being “inverted” hetero or homosexuality, however, I argue it is what it is: an abnormal sexual feedback loop that causes people to become lodged in an endless pursuit of wankery, sometimes to the extent they mutilate themselves in their quest to manifest this fantasy. What you fantasize about to get excited by yourself is an interesting conversation to have with your therapist, but it's not the same as a sexual orientation.

Apollo was also using testosterone in the months leading up to her death.

She was trying to leave pornography, but it was too late. The damage to her psyche was done. In the end, it didn't matter how good acting out the fantasy felt, when enduring the resulting psychological damage was unimaginably painful.

These were Apollo’s final posts to X:

Although women attempt suicide more frequently than men - some estimates say we attempt up to 3x more often1 - men are far more likely to complete a suicide (22.8 versus 5.9 completed suicides per 100,000 men and women, respectively). One reason for this is that men tend to select methods which give them no opportunity to change their mind, and which are more violent and irrevocable. Crashing a speeding car is a violent way to go, though unlike a gun, it does give the person the ability to change their mind. This may have saved Frankie.

One must wonder to what extent Frankie’s attempt inspired Apollo. Suicide is socially contagious 3 and crashing a car is a fairly unusual method. It's also worth wondering how the impact of testosterone on the female brain led to this outcome. These two people were also sexually exploited by the porn industry to the extent both reported wanting to leave the industry due to the negative impact on their mental health. The trauma of repeated filmed moments of degradation also may have fed into a belief that life was not worth living.

Rest in Peace, Apollo Moon aka Forest/Hannah Harader.

If you're struggling with thoughts of self harm, please reach out for help. Mental illness makes it physically difficult to remember feeling better in the past, and therefore it becomes difficult to imagine feeling better in the future, because imagination relies on memory. Please find a way to trust that it can get better and keep seeking help.

It's worth noting that there's at least one other allegation for the end of Forest Harader’s life: hate crime.

I am very skeptical of this account. Frankie’s account seems to fit better with the fact Apollo’s family did not call her death a hate crime or murder, and merely characterized her as having sustained injuries.

References

1

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3539603/#:~:text=Discussion,as%20those%20pertaining%20to%20males.

2 https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db509.htm

3

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10090320/#:~:text=In%20the%20literature%20on%20suicide,can%20be%20solved%20by%20suicide.