As a parent of an NB daughter, I wonder if you might have a POV on this question:
Fear of letting go of the diagnosis, the label, one’s sense of *identity*, seems to be a big obstacle to even considering the possibility that the path being travelled isn’t optimal — as you noted with respect to hormone injections.
Do you think there is (are) an alternative,(s) positive, motivating perspective that can help to break down the barriers to honest introspection, creating space for alternate self-conceptions?
(No pressure intended — I know you are the expert on YOU, and while your experiences may not be universal, you’re as an honest an interlocutor on this difficult topic as I have encountered. My ongoing thanks for your courage, and best wishes for continuing self-acceptance & love for you.)
I've noticed, as the ex-wife of a husband who went down this path and fast 30 years ago, that there's a strong mirror obsession. Any parent who contacts me for my observations hears me say the mirrors have to take a vacation. The ipads, phones and laptops have to spend the night charging in the parents' bedroom. The kids need to learn the coziness of reading an actual hard copy book in bed with a small reading light until the sandman comes. These younglings are sleep deprived and overstimulated. They get put on prescription drugs like SSRIs that make everything worse, because the pills suppress all feelings. Cognitive behavior therapy, for disruption of obsessive negative thought spiraling, is crucial. As is exercise and finding a place to garden. Unfortunately the friend groups are entrenched and toxic. When you understand this is a cult and pulling a child out of a cult takes all of your focus all the time, for months, there is hope. I wish you all the best. My ex-husband estranged our 2 sons from me and now he prances around, at the age of 72, exclaiming that he's their mother. I've remade my life.
That last bit is especially good advice right now. I have noticed tras and allies becoming even more disturbed lately. The world is getting tired of this and they have noticed.
I'm so happy you finally got surgery that has helped. And whether you meant to or not, you've definitely found your calling, or one of them. Xx
There is no such thing as “gender dysphoria,” and the DSM is a political document, not a scientific one.
We are not saying there is no such thing as mental illness, or self-hatred, or unhappiness. We are saying this is not a legitimate condition requiring surgeries and hormones.
perfectly put. gender does have no application to humans.
gender is entirely made up and therefore so is “gender dysphoria”. calling it dysphoria is manipulative. they’re trying to force others to obey their disgusting demands
If they can't even explain "gender" for humans coherently and clearly, then how on earth can they explain what there is to be "dysphoric" about? And if "gender" is social and separate from sex (which I've been told only if they don't say gender is the same as sex, as stated in California law), then why does altering or mutilating one's body with hormones/surgeries count as "gender affirming"? That's biology, not social.
None of it make sense because it's all made up. So none of this exists, and in fact it prevents treatment of the real underlying conditions because those are not addressed.
Nothing is "assigned" at birth, which should go without saying.
Homo sapiens have been reproducing for millennia, in culture without modern medicine, birth certificates, doctors, and some even without written language. Female and male still existed since people still reproduced, and that goes in all mammals as well. That's how we all got here.
That's why changing birth certificates is nothing but fraud. They think using the word "assign" is helpful to the agenda because everything can be "re-assigned."
absolutely. I was only quoting the attention-seekers . can’t believe anyone takes them seriously “oh, we’ll call this one a girl, we’ll call that one a boy.”
I couldn’t read the whole article, but thank you for saying gender dysphoria is real. I experienced what would today be described as GD when I was young, although we didn’t label it as such in the 80s. It is absolutely real and I am thankful I grew up back then and wasn’t put on a path to transition and was allowed to grow out of it naturally.
The whole industry is dead set on transition being the only solution. That if they don't give it to people right away they'll suicide.
I was one of those in 2010-2011 that took myself to ER multiple times saying I wanted to die if I didn't get on hormones or have an orchiectomy immediately. I thought I had to do it immediately so I could be beautiful and live the only life I had a chance of living. They gave me the HRT when I was 22 years old.
But the side effects after 11 years on the full HRT for MTF's made me feel so terrible, and I had hypothyroidism caused by it, and I couldn't stand to do dishes without my back hurting, and just a general sense of dread all the time, that I stopped and never looked back.
It's funny, because transition is almost it's own conversion therapy against transitioning, as long as you don't go too far. How bad you willing to feel to make this delusion real, knowing that the feeling bad can break you of this delusion? If you have the genital recombobulation you'll probably still be suicidal after breaking yourself of the gender dysphoria because there's no coming back from that. Which makes it seem insane to not put someone through actual talk conversion therapy before giving anyone the operation.
I'm not 100% against giving a special few people transition care. But first rigorous talk therapy that actually challenges the person's beliefs and makes them deal with all the issues that will be brought up by trying to live as the opposite sex. Something teenage girls can't lie their way through or will at least shock them into realizing this isn't some cool trendy body modification and social identity to have nor will this give them the Patriarchal privilege they think they're gonna achieve. Nor for most boys will it turn you into a beauty queen and give you the best orgasms of your life. Like, actually tell people all that stuff. At the very least take it back to the 80's and 90's when it was extremely rare and anyone who did it had to be able to go stealth.
Thank you as always for your brutal honesty 🙏
As a parent of an NB daughter, I wonder if you might have a POV on this question:
Fear of letting go of the diagnosis, the label, one’s sense of *identity*, seems to be a big obstacle to even considering the possibility that the path being travelled isn’t optimal — as you noted with respect to hormone injections.
Do you think there is (are) an alternative,(s) positive, motivating perspective that can help to break down the barriers to honest introspection, creating space for alternate self-conceptions?
(No pressure intended — I know you are the expert on YOU, and while your experiences may not be universal, you’re as an honest an interlocutor on this difficult topic as I have encountered. My ongoing thanks for your courage, and best wishes for continuing self-acceptance & love for you.)
I've noticed, as the ex-wife of a husband who went down this path and fast 30 years ago, that there's a strong mirror obsession. Any parent who contacts me for my observations hears me say the mirrors have to take a vacation. The ipads, phones and laptops have to spend the night charging in the parents' bedroom. The kids need to learn the coziness of reading an actual hard copy book in bed with a small reading light until the sandman comes. These younglings are sleep deprived and overstimulated. They get put on prescription drugs like SSRIs that make everything worse, because the pills suppress all feelings. Cognitive behavior therapy, for disruption of obsessive negative thought spiraling, is crucial. As is exercise and finding a place to garden. Unfortunately the friend groups are entrenched and toxic. When you understand this is a cult and pulling a child out of a cult takes all of your focus all the time, for months, there is hope. I wish you all the best. My ex-husband estranged our 2 sons from me and now he prances around, at the age of 72, exclaiming that he's their mother. I've remade my life.
Thank you, Ute 🙏
Selling pathological nonsense, or, How to Mutilate Children and get Rich doing it.
That last bit is especially good advice right now. I have noticed tras and allies becoming even more disturbed lately. The world is getting tired of this and they have noticed.
I'm so happy you finally got surgery that has helped. And whether you meant to or not, you've definitely found your calling, or one of them. Xx
It really doesn’t exist.
A symptom is not a condition.
Gender has no application to humans.
And we all feel unease in our bodies sometimes.
There is no such thing as “gender dysphoria,” and the DSM is a political document, not a scientific one.
We are not saying there is no such thing as mental illness, or self-hatred, or unhappiness. We are saying this is not a legitimate condition requiring surgeries and hormones.
perfectly put. gender does have no application to humans.
gender is entirely made up and therefore so is “gender dysphoria”. calling it dysphoria is manipulative. they’re trying to force others to obey their disgusting demands
100% correct.
If they can't even explain "gender" for humans coherently and clearly, then how on earth can they explain what there is to be "dysphoric" about? And if "gender" is social and separate from sex (which I've been told only if they don't say gender is the same as sex, as stated in California law), then why does altering or mutilating one's body with hormones/surgeries count as "gender affirming"? That's biology, not social.
None of it make sense because it's all made up. So none of this exists, and in fact it prevents treatment of the real underlying conditions because those are not addressed.
“weeeell, it’s what you’re assigned at birth”
oh, my auto-complete has been captured because it just filled in those words, in order
Nothing is "assigned" at birth, which should go without saying.
Homo sapiens have been reproducing for millennia, in culture without modern medicine, birth certificates, doctors, and some even without written language. Female and male still existed since people still reproduced, and that goes in all mammals as well. That's how we all got here.
That's why changing birth certificates is nothing but fraud. They think using the word "assign" is helpful to the agenda because everything can be "re-assigned."
It's nothing but word games. All of it.
is there a known successful treatment for narcissism?
absolutely. I was only quoting the attention-seekers . can’t believe anyone takes them seriously “oh, we’ll call this one a girl, we’ll call that one a boy.”
I couldn’t read the whole article, but thank you for saying gender dysphoria is real. I experienced what would today be described as GD when I was young, although we didn’t label it as such in the 80s. It is absolutely real and I am thankful I grew up back then and wasn’t put on a path to transition and was allowed to grow out of it naturally.
Mental health issues can exist.
Gender dysphoria is not real.
Grammar has been confused with gametes first and last.
Very well said.
The whole industry is dead set on transition being the only solution. That if they don't give it to people right away they'll suicide.
I was one of those in 2010-2011 that took myself to ER multiple times saying I wanted to die if I didn't get on hormones or have an orchiectomy immediately. I thought I had to do it immediately so I could be beautiful and live the only life I had a chance of living. They gave me the HRT when I was 22 years old.
But the side effects after 11 years on the full HRT for MTF's made me feel so terrible, and I had hypothyroidism caused by it, and I couldn't stand to do dishes without my back hurting, and just a general sense of dread all the time, that I stopped and never looked back.
It's funny, because transition is almost it's own conversion therapy against transitioning, as long as you don't go too far. How bad you willing to feel to make this delusion real, knowing that the feeling bad can break you of this delusion? If you have the genital recombobulation you'll probably still be suicidal after breaking yourself of the gender dysphoria because there's no coming back from that. Which makes it seem insane to not put someone through actual talk conversion therapy before giving anyone the operation.
I'm not 100% against giving a special few people transition care. But first rigorous talk therapy that actually challenges the person's beliefs and makes them deal with all the issues that will be brought up by trying to live as the opposite sex. Something teenage girls can't lie their way through or will at least shock them into realizing this isn't some cool trendy body modification and social identity to have nor will this give them the Patriarchal privilege they think they're gonna achieve. Nor for most boys will it turn you into a beauty queen and give you the best orgasms of your life. Like, actually tell people all that stuff. At the very least take it back to the 80's and 90's when it was extremely rare and anyone who did it had to be able to go stealth.
Nobody transitions.
It’s mutilation.